This is my story...

Episode 20: As Fate Would Have It

2008-06-17T10:45:00.000-07:00

As I cleaned up my pigsty of an apartment, I realized something; I was a new man. There was an extra hop in my step as I raced around cleaning and getting ready to go out. Jack was back in town and he had stopped by just two hours ago and somehow pulled me out of a funk that I never thought I would come back from. On top of that, I am in love. The best part about that was, I knew, now, that Stacy loved me too. The only thing that I had to do now was go get her.

As the afternoon progressed, I found myself getting more and more nervous. It had been two weeks since I had talked to Stacy, so it was definitely going to be awkward. However, the main reason I was nervous was that I had absolutely no idea what I was going to say to her. Hopefully, it wouldn’t have to be much.

No one knew yet that I was coming. I received a text from Jack earlier saying that everyone was going to meet at his place and that they would be there for a while, so I decided to surprise them.

Joel stood in front of his bathroom mirror with a can of shaving cream and his razor, staring at his beard. He tilted his head back and leaned it to the right and then to the left, admiring his ability to grow such an impressive beard in just two weeks. He lowered his head and sat his razor on the counter. He began to run his fingers through his beard, contemplating whether or not to shave it.

“I do look good,” said Joel, continuing to rub his beard, “but it is itchy.”

After another few minutes of gazing admirably, Joel made the tough decision to shave his beard.

“Goodbye old friend,” said Joel, spraying shaving cream into his hand. “It has been a good run... well, not really good, but it has been a run nonetheless. Perhaps our paths will cross again someday.”

After shaving and having a moment of silence for his fallen friend, Joel finished getting ready and exited his now clean apartment, and headed down to Jack’s.

As fate would have it, I arrived at Jack’s apartment the exact same time that Stacy did. This was even more of a surprise considering the fact that John told me earlier that Lauren and Stacy were going to a movie tonight. Focus Joel! Stacy is right in front of you and all you can think about is John. Say something!

“H-hey, Stacy,” said Joel, smiling awkwardly.

“Hi,” replied Stacy, stopping a few steps away from Jack’s door.

Wow, this is even more awkward than I had expected.

Both Stacy and Joel started to say something, but stopped when seeing that the other person was going to say something. They repeated this process three times before laughing.

“Go ahead,” said Stacy.

“I’m really sorry that I haven’t called you back,” said Joel.

“It’s okay,” replied Stacy.

“Really?” asked Joel.

Stacy smiled while walking up to Joel. She stopped if front of him and raised herself up onto her tip-toes. She leaned in and kissed Joel, who welcomed the unexpected surprise.

It was really happening; Stacy and I were actually kissing! I kept waiting for something to ruin the moment like myself waking up, but nothing like that happened. This was for real. As Stacy’s soft lips were pressed against mine, I drifted away. I was completely lost in the moment. I was not one bit let down. It was everything that I though it would be and more.

After relinquishing the kiss, Stacy took a step back from Joel and looked into his eyes. “Yes, Joel,” she said. “It is okay.”

And at that point, all of my worry melted away. Everything was truly ok. I guess when you love someone, it is easy to forgive them.

“Now what do we do?” asked Joel.

“Well, we could go inside,” said Stacy, “or we could just hang out here in the hall.”

Joel smiled and nodded. “Well played,” he said. “I kind of like it out here though.”

“Oh really?” asked Stacy, who smiled and leaned in to kiss Joel.

After the two of them kissed again, they turned and headed into Jack’s apartment. Upon entering everyone but the two of them had already arrived. They turned to greet Stacy, who they expected, and were shocked to see their long lost friend, Joel.

I was actually surprised at the way that my friends greeted me. They acted as if I had been shipwrecked on a deserted island for the past ten years. I guess it had been a long time and part of the surprise might have been that Stacy and I walked in the door hand-in-hand.

“So,” said John, pulling Joel away from Stacy and smiling wryly, “what’s up?”

“Very funny,” said Joel. “I thought they were going to a movie?”

“Yeah, well,” said John.

“You were trying to get me in the same room as Stacy, weren’t you?” asked Joel.

John nodded like a child that had been caught sneaking desert before dinner.

“You, my friend, are an ass,” said Joel. “Trying to set me up like that.”

“That is hardly fair.” said John. “Look at you two! It would have worked out fine.”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Joel, “just get me a beer.”

As the night continued, I met Rachel, Jack’s girlfriend, who was a really cool girl. A little quiet at first, but she warmed up to us and fit right in. On a side note: her and I clicked really well. Of course, Dustin was there. I managed to keep my distance, though, as he did the same. Anyway, things between Stacy and myself were great, although at certain points during the night, she acted as though something was bothering her. Overall, the night was off to a great start. Little did I know, that was about to change. It happened when we went to Shenanigans.

When the group of nine arrived at Shenanigans, they paid and entered. Stacy, Lauren, Tiffany, and Rachel headed for the dance floor, while Joel, John, Jack, Brian, and Dustin made their way to the bar. Upon reaching the bar, they ordered a round of shots to toast Jack’s return.

“Here’s to Jack,” said Dustin, lifting his shot glass into the air.

“And to Joel coming out of his cocoon,” added John sarcastically.

“Let’s not make this about me,” said Joel,

“Good, because it isn’t,” said Dustin.

Sometimes it is better to ignore ignorant people and their ignorant comments. However, this is not one of those times...

“And here is to the return of Dustin’s home,” said Joel.

“What?” asked Dustin, looking at Joel with a confused look, as did everyone else.

“Yeah, to you,” said Joel, “Jack has returned and now you can crawl right back up into his-“

“Okay, okay,” said Jack. “That is enough.”

Dustin glowered at Joel and Joel smiled at Dustin as John and Brian snickered, trying to hold back their laughs.

“To Jack,” said Brian after a moment, breaking the tension-filled silence.

The five of them took their shots and placed their shot glasses on the bar.

“Rachel seems cool,” said Joel to Jack.

“Yeah," answered Jack mundanely, “I guess.”

“You guess?” asked Joel.

“I don’t know,” said Jack. “I’m starting to think that her moving here was not a good idea.”

“You two have only been back for one day,” said Joel.

“I know,” said Jack, “but it just does not feel right.”

“Well, give it some time,” said Joel.

“Yeah, I guess,” said Jack.

I do not know what is wrong with Jack. He has-from what I can tell-a great girl, who he got to move down here, and is already second-guessing himself? That’s not right, but this is not the time or place to discuss it, so I let it go for now.

Shortly thereafter, Dustin and Jack made their way onto the dance floor to dance, leaving Joel, John, and Brian at the bar.

“That was sweet,” said John, "what you said to Dustin."

“Yeah,” said Brian, “the look on his face was priceless.”

“Glad I could provide you with some entertainment,” said Joel with a smirk.

“I’m going to go dance,” said Brian. He then made his way through the crowd toward his friends’ current position.

“So, I guess you and Stacy are official?” asked John of Joel.

“I wouldn’t necessarily say that,” said Joel. “Not yet at least. I want to take it slow with her.”

“That’s the last thing I expected to hear you say,” said John, a little surprised.

“Yeah,” said Joel, “me too.” Joel then looked at John with a sincerity in his eyes. “It’s just that I have waited so long to be with her, that I just want everything to be perfect. I don’t want to rush anything and mess it up.”

John smiled and let a slight laugh escape him.

“What?” asked Joel. “You think that is funny?”

John shook his head. “That’s not it.”

“Then what is it?” asked Joel, becoming impatient.

“I know everything that happens with you and Stacy will be fine,” said John, “because I see the seriousness in your face when you talk about her. It is the same thing when she talks about you. What you two have; it’s the real thing.”

Joel smiled. “Thanks man. Let’s get a drink.”

“Finally,” said John. “I thought you were going to try and hug me or something.”

Joel rolled his eyes and started toward the bar. It was not long after, that Stacy and Tiffany came over to them from the dance floor.

“You two are being antisocial,” said Tiffany, “so we thought we would come drag you out onto the dance floor.”

“I would,” said John facetiously, “but my leg kinda hurts and I have a beer and I don’t want to spill it on anyone.”

“You’re dancing,” said Tiffany. “Now come on!”

“Fine,” said John unenthusiastically, allowing Tiffany to pull him onto the dance floor.

After a laugh, Stacy looked up at Joel. “Hi,” she said with a smile.

“Hey,” said Joel, who found himself getting lost in Stacy’s eyes like he always had.

Wait a minute. I can finally tell her how beautiful she is without the fear of making things awkward.

“What is it?” asked Stacy, seeing that Joel was on the verge of saying something.

“I have always wanted to tell you something,” said Joel.

“Yes?” asked Stacy,

“You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen,” said Joel. “I get lost in them.”

Stacy smiled, but then looked down as if she had something on her mind.

“You okay?” asked Joel.

“Joel,” said Stacy, “I’m leaving.”

This caught Joel by surprise, but he went with it. “Okay,” he said. “Let me pay my tab and I will go with you.”

“No, Joel,” said Stacy, looking up at him with tears in her eyes.

And once again, as fate would have it, just as everything had become right with the world, did it come crashing down all around me with Stacy’s next few words.

“I am leaving Charlotte.”

Episode 19: Cruise Control

2008-06-09T18:18:00.000-07:00

Over the next two weeks, everything ran together. I went through the motions like a mindless zombie. I went to work and then straight home, transitioning from one activity to another without even realizing it. No Stratler’s. No anything. Everything was a blur. It was almost as if I was set on cruise control. My friends would call me and ask me to go out and do things, but I made excuse after excuse as to why I could not go with them. I wanted to, but I just could not gather the will to do so. I was still in...shock I guess is the best word to describe my current state. Yeah, I was in shock. Besides, I did not want to take the chance of seeing her.

Stacy had tried to call me a hand full of times over the last two weeks, but when she did, I hit the ignore button on my phone. I couldn’t even begin to think about what she had done to me without beginning to grow angry. I cannot decide it is just me or that it is not right what Stacy did to me. Maybe I was overreacting. I mean, the girl that I have been in love with since we were kids felt the same was about me and all I could do was be angry at her. I even attempted to call her a few times, but I found myself unable to hit the call button. Every time I tried, I would start to think about how heartbroken I was the times I tried to confess my love for her and she shot me down knowing full well that she felt the same way. Then anger would set back in.

You just don’t do that to someone, especially someone that you supposedly love.

It was early in the evening on Friday when John and Tiffany arrived at Joel’s apartment building. Already knowing the code for the front door, John keyed it in and pulled the door open, allowing Tiffany to traverse the doorway first. The pair walked across the lobby and entered the elevator, riding it up to Joel’s floor.

“How is he doing?” asked Tiffany of John.

“He sounds about the same,” replied John, watching the lights above the door light up as the elevator continued its ascent, “lost.”

“Poor thing,” said Tiffany, shaking her head.

Upon stopping, and the elevator bell ringing, the two doors slid apart and John and Tiffany exited, walking down the hall to Joel’s door. When the two of them had reached Joel’s door, John knocked. No answer. John waited a few moments and then knocked again; still no answer.

“Well, I know he is here,” said John, looking over at Tiffany with a confused look on his face. “I just talked to him.”

“Maybe he stepped out,” replied Tiffany.

“No,” said John, “he said he wasn’t going anywhere.”

Tiffany returned John’s confused look and reached out, grabbing the doorknob. She turned it and much to the delight of both of them, the door was unlocked. Pushing the door open, John led Tiffany in the light-deprived apartment.

The only light in the apartment was the few rays of the sun that snuck in through the closed blinds. Upon flipping the light switch, John and Tiffany found that Joel’s apartment was a mess. There were clothes lying all over the floor along with empty beer cans and pizza boxes. In the kitchen, a full bag of trash sat next to an overflowing trash can. Dirty dishes filled the sink and the surrounding counter.

“Joel?” asked John as he crept into the living room while looking around and stepping over the mess on the floor.

John and Tiffany’s attention was then quickly drawn toward the couch, in which a bundle of blankets was piled, as they heard a groan. The two of them furrowed their brows as the pile of blankets began to move. A hand, then an arm emerged from beneath the blankets, reaching upward as if it had been buried for days. The arm swung toward the front of the couch, knocking away enough of the blankets to uncover Joel’s torso. Rubbing his eyes, Joel opened them to see his two friends standing in his living room.

“Hey guys,” said Joel as he sat up.

“Good Lord,” said John upon seeing Joel.

Joel had obviously not shaved in a while as he had accrued a pretty thick beard in the process.

“You look like Grizzly Adams,” said John.

Joel was confused for a moment before realizing that John had not seen him in his current state. “Oh yeah,” he said, reaching up and rubbing his beard. “You like it?”

“No, not really,” replied John, who immediately winced as Tiffany’s hand flew over and struck his shoulder. “What?” he asked, looking down at Tiffany, “He asked.”

Tiffany rolled her eyes as she looked at Joel; pity had a stronghold on her face. “How are you doing, Joel?” she asked.

“Same ole, same ole,” replied Joel as he laid back down.

“Nice place,” said John sarcastically as he kicked a pizza box from in front of his feet.

“Be nice,” said Tiffany as she knelt down and began to pick up things off of the floor. She then went into the kitchen and opened a cabinet door located under the sink and grabbed a garbage bag. She dropped the few items she had in her hands into the bag, then began to pick up more.

“You don’t have to do that,” said Joel.

“Well somebody needs to,” said John.

“I was going to get it,” replied Joel. “What time is it?”

“Seven-thirty,” answered Tiffany.

John walked over to the couch and sat down on Joel’s legs, forcing him to sit up. “We are going out tonight and you are coming,” he said.

“Who’s we?” asked Joel, considering the invitation.

“You, me, Tiffany, and Brian,” answered John.

“Where’s-,” started Joel before being interrupted by John.

“Stacy and Lauren are going to a movie.”

“We aren’t taking no for an answer,” said Tiffany, who was loading the dishwasher.

“That’s right,” said John. “So that means that you are coming.”

Joel looked over at Tiffany and then back at John, who both knew that he was going to agree and that they were going to pull him out of his funk, but then Joel said something completely different. “No thanks.”

It was nice of them to come over and check on me, but I just wasn’t ready to go out.

“Oh, come on!” said John emphatically. “Are you just going to lie around and mope for the rest of your life!?”

Joel looked over at John and shrugged his shoulders.

“Fine,” said John angrily. “Come on Tiffany, we are leaving.”

John got up off of the couch and exited Joel’s apartment. Tiffany finished loading the dishwasher and turned it on. She walked toward the door, but stopped before reaching it and turned. “Bye Joel,” she said. She then gave Joel a sympathetic smile before turning and leaving, closing the door behind her.

Joel grimaced as he looked at the door and nodded.

I did not blame John for being angry. I guess I would be frustrated too. Now I feel bad. All they were trying to do was help. I guess you can’t help someone who doesn’t want it. Then it hit me; when did I become that type of person? Realizing that should have made me get up off of that couch and do something about it, but all it did was add to my misery. So, I did what I had been doing for the last two weeks; I got up, locked the door, got a beer, sat back down on the couch, turned the tv on, and drank myself to sleep.

* * *

Early on Saturday afternoon, Joel was awakened by a pounding on his door. He pushed through his cocoon of blankets and made his way to his feet. Stumbling over to the door, he turned the deadbolt and swung the door open. A surprised look came over his face when he saw who it was standing there.

“Jack?” he asked as he stood there wide-eyed.

Jack smiled and shrugged, holding his hands out to his side with his palms upward. “The one and only.”

John reached out and embraced his friend. “When did you get back?” he asked, letting go of Jack and taking a step back.

“Late last night,” answered Jack. He then followed Joel into his apartment. “Have you turned against cleaning?” he asked, looking around at Joel’s mess.

“It’s, uh, been a long couple of weeks,” said Joel with a sigh.

“You missed me so much that you fell into a depression?” joked Jack. “I don’t know what to say. It means a lot to me that you missed me that much.”

Joel let a slight chuckle escape him. “Yeah, something like that,” he said as he sat down on his couch.

“Actually,” said Jack, “Brian filled me in on what has been going on since I left.”

Joel said nothing. Instead, he just pressed his lips together, forming a straight line, and nodded. Before Jack could say anything else, Joel said, “So they sent you in to save the day.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “I’m glad that you stopped by and I’m definitely glad that you are back, but I do not need to be saved, Jack.”

“I know,” said Jack, “but I also know that this isn’t you. You have never been the one to throw in the towel just because of one setback, especially when it comes to Stacy.”

“Thanks for stopping by, Jack,” said Joel.

“Alright, I get it,” said Jack. “You want to be alone.”

“Bingo,” replied Joel.

“Ok,” said Jack. “Well, let me know when you are ready to go out because there is someone that I want you to meet.”

Joel looked at Jack curiously.

“Remember the girl I told you about from Michigan?” asked Jack.

Joel nodded.

“Well, she decided to move here,” said Jack. “She is staying with me until she can find a place.”

“Really?” asked Joel.

“Yeah,” answered Jack. “She is downstairs taking a nap before we go out tonight. I wanted everyone to meet her, so if you want to come, just let me know.”

Joel nodded as Jack turned and headed for the door. Just before Jack exited, Joel stopped him by saying, “I’ll be there.”

Jack turned and smiled. “Good,” he said before leaving, closing the door behind him.

It was right then that I knew that I was going to come out of this. Jack was right; I’m not a quitter and this isn’t me. I have been through this before, but the only difference this time was that I now I know how Stacy feels about me. It is time to put everything aside and finally be with her. I was not sure what the rest of the night held in store for me, but I was sure about one thing... it was time to go get Stacy.

Episode 18: Numb

2008-05-27T20:46:00.000-07:00

Well it has been two weeks since the incident with Joel and Dustin at Stanky’s and Joel has pretty much stuck to his word. It has actually worked out really well for the rest of us because when Joel is with us, Dustin does not come around. That, and Dustin has been working a lot lately, so he hasn’t been joining us on our nightly trips to Stratler’s.

I think that Brian has enjoyed being away from Dustin the most. The poor guy has to live with Dustin, so he automatically has the sympathy of everyone. Lately though, he has been on cloud nine and very appreciative to Joel, though Joel plays it off like it isn’t that big of a deal. All in all, things have been great except for one thing.

Joel’s new girlfriend, Amber.

Joel and Amber have been out a few times over the last two weeks and judging by Joel, things are going good so far. He brought her to Stratler’s to meet us a few nights ago and as much as I wanted to like her, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t help it. She is with my guy. Hmph, I say my guy like I ever had him in the first place. Anyway, I just hope that it was not noticeable to Joel that I couldn’t stand Amber.

This weekend, we decided to go to our favorite comedy club, Chuckles. Apparently Brian accidently forgot to invite Dustin. And when I use the term accidently, I use it very lightly. It wasn’t the nicest of moves to make, but nobody seemed to mind.

As Joel was driving himself, Stacy, and John to pick up Tiffany at her apartment, John sat in the back while Stacy rode in the front. Joel was flipping through the radio stations while driving when a song caught John’s attention. Joel let the song play for a few seconds before changing the station.

“Hey,” said John, “go back a station.”

“Why?” asked Joel, being intentionally difficult.

“Just do it,” protested John. “I like that song.”

Joel furrowed his brow as he changed the station back and looked at John in his rear-view mirror. “This song?” he asked, almost disgusted at the thought.

“Yeah.” answered John.

“Dude, you do realize that you just made me turn it back to a Miley Cyrus song, do you not?” asked Joel.

“So,” answered John. “I like this song.”

“There are so many things wrong with that, I do not know where to begin,” said Joel, shaking his head. “I guess I should start with the fact that you are a guy.”

“What’s wrong with a guy liking this song?” asked John.

“Everything!” exclaimed Joel. “No self-respecting man listens to Miley Cyrus.” He then turned the station.

“Come on!” yelled John.

“No,” said Joel. “I will not sit idly by and let you do that to yourself.”

“I like that song,” said Stacy.

“It is ok for you to like that song,” responded Joel. “You are a girl.”

“Fair enough,” answered Stacy.

“Yes!” said Joel loudly. “You insisted, but I told you that it would wear off on you.”

Stacy was puzzled as she looked at Joel and asked, “What?”

“You just said ‘fair enough,’” answered Joel.

“No I didn’t,” said Stacy, thinking about her previous comments.

“John?” asked Joel.

“Yeah,” said John, not looking up from his text message, “you said it.”

“No!” said Stacy, slapping her knee playfully. “I swore that would never happen.”

“It was only a matter of time,” said Joel, smiling while nodding his head.

When the trio arrived at Tiffany’s apartment complex, John exited the vehicle and entered Tiffany’s building. Joel and Stacy sat in his Charger, awaiting the arrival of John and Tiffany.

I am not sure what came over me when John left Joel and myself alone in the car while going up to get Tiffany, but I became so bold in that moment. What I said next was probably-no, it was definitely a mistake.

“So,” asked Stacy, “you really like this Amber girl?

“Well, I haven’t known her very long, but she seems like a really cool girl,” said Joel.

“You think so?” asked Stacy.

“Yeah,” answered Joel. “Why? Did you get another impression?”

“You want my honest opinion?” asked Stacy.

“Yes,” responded Joel.

“I think you could do better,” said Stacy.

“Thanks,” said Joel, “but the girls aren’t exactly lining up at my door.”

“You will find the right girl,” said Stacy. “Who knows, she could be right under your nose.”

Oh no! What am I doing? He is going to see through this for sure! I cannot believe that I just said that!

“Yeah I guess,” said Joel.

“Any girl would be lucky to be with you,” said Stacy.

Shut up! What is wrong with you!? Why can’t you just stop talking!?

“If you say so,” said Joel, with a sigh.

“I do say so,” responded Stacy

It was then that I realized what I was doing. I was building my way to a confession of my love. Then, in what I feel was on purpose, Joel changed the subject.

“I hope the comedians are good tonight,” said Joel.

I grimaced in frustration, but I quickly hid it so that Joel would not notice. “Yeah,” said Stacy softly. “They usually are though.”

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes after Stacy’s comment, but then John returned along with Tiffany. When the two got into Joel’s Charger, they looked at each other as if they were entering a hostile environment. Tiffany leaned up and put her hand gently on Stacy’s right shoulder.

“Is everything ok, Stacy?” asked Tiffany.

“Yeah,” responded Stacy, obviously dejected.

Simultaneously, John leaned up and said, “You okay up there?”

Joel snapped out of his deep thought. “Uh, yeah,” he said. “Yeah. I am good.”

“We need to get going then,” said Stacy. “We don’t want to keep Brian and Lauren waiting.”Joel nodded and started the car, put it in drive, and pulled away from the curve.

When the four of them had reached Chuckles, Joel circled the parking lot once before finding a spot. He pulled in and the four of them exited the vehicle.

Stacy and Tiffany walked ahead as John held Joel back.

“Ok,” said Tiffany. “What happened?”

“Well, uh,” started Stacy, before pausing to sigh. “I have feelings for Joel and I have been trying to tell him, but it just goes wrong every time.”

“Oh,” said Tiffany, not sure what to say.

“It’s ok,” replied Stacy. “I am going to just have to live with the fact that it just wasn’t meant to be I guess.”

“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?” asked Tiffany.

“It isn’t that easy,” answered Stacy.

“Trust me,” said Tiffany, giving Stacy a distinct look. “You need to tell him.”

Wait, is she trying to tell me that... I think she is!

“Are you sure?” asked Stacy.

“Just tell him,” said Tiffany with a wink.

It was at that point that Stacy walked over to Joel in the middle of the Chuckles parking lot.

“Joel,” said Stacy, walking up to him, “I need to talk to you.”

“Okay,” said Joel, looking over at John, who nodded and walked away.

Stacy watched John walk away, then turned back to Joel. “There is something that I need to tell you,” she said.

“What is it, Stacy?” asked Joel.

I was so nervous. My stomach was in knots. I could barely summon the words to speak. But then I thought about how I had to pretend that I did not have feelings for Joel for so long. It was that thought that made me come out with it.

“I cannot do this anymore, Joel,” said Stacy. “I am tired of hiding behind false feelings.” She paused and looked down, but not long enough for Joel to get a word in. Stacy then raised her head and her eyes met Joel’s. “I love you, Joel.”

I cannot believe it! I told him! Then it hit me, I actually told him. I anxiously awaited his response, but it was not what I had expected or hoped for.

“So at Shenanigans you knew that when I said I love you, I meant as more than a friend?” asked Joel.

“Yes,” answered Stacy. “I am sorr-” Before she could get her apology out, Joel interrupted.

“Then why did you say you loved me only as a friend?” asked Joel, who at this point was growing angry. Before Stacy could answer, Joel continued. “You do not know the heartache that I have gone through since then, Stacy. If you knew what I meant, then why did you do that to me?”

“Maybe I was scared,” said Stacy.

And that was the honest truth. I was scared that night and I panicked. Then Joel started gritting his teeth and looking around like he always did when he got mad.

“But I am telling you now, Joel,” said Stacy. “Why are you angry?”

Joel finally looked back at Stacy. “You have no idea what that did to me. I was devastated!” he shouted. He quickly regained control of himself and continued. “I have been torturing myself for thinking that there was more between us than what really was.”

Stacy, obviously regretful, looked down at the ground. “I am sorry, Joel.”

She looked up and watched Joel walk over to the rest of the group, who by this point, were paying attention. He asked if Brian could take John, Tiffany, and Stacy home, then walked over to his car, got in, and left.

The tears started streaming down my face uncontrollably as I watch Joel speed away. I didn’t now what to do or think. I was numb.

* * *

Episode 17: My Misery

2008-05-19T20:01:00.000-07:00

I know, I know; I really messed up this time. Joel tells me that he loves me and what do I do? I panic. Then, I played the friend card. I do not know if Joel meant if he loved me just as a friend or not, but, regardless, it still gave me the opportunity to confess my love for him and I blew it. I have been kicking myself every since it happened last weekend.

I knew what I had to do though. I needed to get Joel to say it again. Then I could tell him exactly how I feel. That is why I have called him pretty much everyday. Maybe if I show interest, it will compel him to do the same.

However, it proved to be more of a chore than I had realized it would be. Every time we hung out at Stratler’s or anywhere else over that week, I laid it on thick, but to no avail. I do not want to make Joel sound mean, but he definitely ignored my advances. Maybe he didn’t love me the way I thought he did.

It was a good thing that I was not going to take no for an answer. That’s right! I’m not giving up that easily.

Anyway, remember when Joel and Dustin had their argument? Well that would soon be pushed back to the forefront as it would soon reach its climactic point. Since Jack has been gone, Dustin had no one but us to hang out with and he and Joel had not exactly been getting along. Well, we all had a problem with him, but Joel was the only one that would actually say something to him.

He never would come right out and say it, but he did chime in with a smart remark that would make Dustin mad, which would make him quiet. Needless to say, nobody seemed to mind.

It was eight o’clock on Saturday night when Stacy arrived at Joel’s apartment. John and Tiffany were already there and the four of them had a few drinks before heading out to go downtown at roughly fifteen minutes after nine.

It was nine thirty on Saturday night when Joel, Stacy, John, and Tiffany piled out of a cab in downtown Charlotte and walked into a bar by the name of Stanky’s. When the foursome walked through the door, they quickly scanned the crowded bar to find their friends, Brian, Lauren, and Dustin. John found them sitting in a booth and started toward them, leading Tiffany, Stacy, and Joel.

Upon arriving at the table, the seven of them exchanged greetings and poured into the booth, large enough to fit the seven of them.

I tried to sit beside Joel, but he pulled an evasive maneuver at the last second and switch which side of the booth he was going to sit on and before I knew it Dustin scooted in beside him, which I knew he absolutely loved.

It was not long before Dustin started nudging him and the two were off to talk to two blonde bimbos. So there I was, stuck there, watching the guy I love hitting on another woman.

“Are you ok?” asked Lauren of Stacy.

Stacy did not answer, looking over at Joel.

“Stacy?” asked Lauren.

Stacy finally snapped out of her trance. “Uh yeah, I’m fine,” she said. She then looked back over at Joel.

“Stacy, just go over there and talk to him,” said Lauren.

“No,” responded Stacy. “The time isn’t right.”

“But he is talking to another girl,” said Lauren.

John, who had no previous knowledge of Stacy’s feelings for Joel, overheard the conversation. Luckily for Stacy, he did not pick up on what they were talking about.

That is when I decided to go into what Lauren and I like to call Stealth Mode.

Stacy motioned toward John and mouthed the phrase, “Let’s talk later. I do not want him to overhear anything.”

Lauren nodded and mouthed the phrase, “Gotcha.”

Ok, so Stealth Mode is when we mouth what we are saying instead of actually saying it, but what can I say? It works!

Anyway, the night did not get easier from there. Much to my dismay, Joel and Dustin did not get shot down. I know its mean and selfish, but I was hoping that the guys would strike out and be right back over to the table. However, that was not the case. This only added to my misery.

We did get a good laugh when Dustin apparently made the other girl mad and stormed off. I was kind of hoping that Joel’s conversation would taper off because of this, but it didn’t. I could see that she was very interested in him.

Stacy sat there in the booth, unable to look away from Joel. It was almost as if it was happening in slow motion as everything else sped around it at one hundred miles per hour. It was at that moment that she knew that she had blown it. The only thing that she could take solace in was the fact that Lauren shared her pain. That, and the alcohol was flowing.

Lauren bought me a drink and the two of us started a conversation that I got lost in. For a while, I forgot about all of my problems. Then, I happened to glance over and see Joel and the blonde swapping numbers and my heart dropped.

Then, something very bizarre happened.

As Joel slipped his phone back into his pocket, Dustin approached, making his way back through the people that filled the bar. When he reached Joel and Amber, he pushed passed Joel, almost knocking him down and walked up to Amber.

I do not know what Dustin said, but it did not sit right with either Joel or his new skank...sorry, I mean lady-friend.

At that point, Lauren and Brian noticed that Stacy was no longer listening to them and turned to see what it was that she was now focused on. After the two of them began to watch the scene, John and Tiffany also joined them in watching.

They watched as Joel grabbed Dustin’s arm and turned him away from the girl that he had been talking to all night. Dustin jerked his arm away from Joel and once again engaged the girl. The girl, who obviously wanted nothing to with him, turned and said something to Joel, then left.

“Dustin must be up to his old tricks,” laughed Brian.

“Obviously,” said John.

“What a jerk,” said Tiffany.

After she walked away Joel confronted Dustin. Only Dustin seemed angry. After a short exchange, Dustin turned and walked away while Joel returned to the table.

“What was that all about?” asked John of Joel as he returned.

“Oh nothing,” said Joel. “Just Dustin being Dustin. You know, same ole, same ole.”

“All too well,” said Lauren.

“I do not know why he has to be that way,” said Stacy.

“I’ve pretty much accepted it by now,” said Joel.

“Yeah, yeah,” said John, “He’s an ass. Now tell me about the girl you just met.”

“Yeah,” said Stacy. “Let’s hear about that.”

I wasn’t being sarcastic, I promise. I really wanted to know about this girl and try to read Joel’s opinion of her so I could try and gauge how much he likes her. We did not get too far into the conversation before an obviously drunk Dustin came back and made a scene.

As Joel stood at the table, talking to Stacy and John, Dustin came up and stood quietly for a few moments. It was obvious that he was bothered by something. Brian glanced over at him and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” said Dustin, glowering at Joel, who did not notice. A few minutes passed before Dustin spoke again. This time he said, “I’m leaving.”

He said his goodbyes to Brian and Lauren, then made his way around Joel without saying a word to him and told Stacy, John, and Tiffany goodbye, then turned and as he walked back by Joel, he lurched forward, striking Joel with his shoulder.

The impact dislodged Joel’s beer from his hand, which fell to the floor. The glass bottle shattered as the liquid spilled and went everywhere. Dustin stopped, looking up from the floor, he and Joel now stood nose to nose.

Brian quickly stood and got between them as John launched out of the booth to grab Joel. By this time, the eyes of everyone in the bar were on the two men as they were being restrained by their friends.

“What is your problem!?” shouted Joel.

Dustin did not say a word. Instead he continued to stare at Joel as he took a few steps back and eventually turned and walked out of the bar.

“What was that all about?” asked Brian.

“Apparently that girl I met,” responded Joel. “He tried to get between me and her when we were talking and I called him out on it, but not in front of her.”

“You two need to stop,” said Brian sternly. “You are friends.”

Joel shook his head. “No. Not anymore,” he said. “I’m tired of the way he acts toward me.”

“You don’t mean that,” said Brian.

“Yeah, actually I do mean it, Brian,” said Joel. “I’m done with that guy.”

The scary thing about the whole situation was that Joel was serious. I have known him longer than anyone and I can say, without a doubt, that Joel meant what he said. It was the end of their friendship.

Episode 16: No Coming Back

2008-05-12T20:09:00.000-07:00

It has been a week and a half since Ron came after me and subsequently Joel went after him. I have talked to Ron only once since going with him to the hospital. That was to confirm the break-up and to plead with him not to press charges against Joel. It was kind of funny because he agreed to not press charges quicker than he accepted me breaking up with him.

As for Joel, I only talked to him to let him know that Ron agreed not to press charges. I was still very angry at him, so I stayed on the phone just long enough to let him know that he would not be going to jail. He, of course, tried to call me at first, but finally gave up when he realized that I was not going to answer. It has been five days since his last attempt.

The truth is, I’m not that mad at him anymore. At first I was furious and I did not want to talk to him. Then, the anger thawed and melted away for the most part and I was not sure what I wanted to say to him. Now, I let the whole thing linger for too long and now it is too weird. And there is still the fact that I still get angry at Joel every time I think about what happened. I do not know what to do.

I will have an opportunity to talk to him tonight at Jack’s farewell party. His job is taking him to Michigan for a few months, so we are getting together tonight.

Lauren sat on Stacy’s couch as she waited for her to get ready to leave.

“Have you thought about what you are going to say to Joel?” asked Lauren of Stacy.

“Not at all,” replied Stacy.

“Are you still mad at him?”

“Yes and no,” said Stacy, sighing while thinking about the whole situation. “I do not know for sure because I haven’t seen or talked to him.”

“I’m sure that everything will work out fine,” said Lauren, trying to reassure her friend.

“I hope so,” said Stacy. “I sure am nervous.”

“I can tell,” replied Lauren.

“Thanks,” said Stacy facetiously.

“Relax,” said Lauren with a laugh. “You will be fine.”

“You are right,” responded Stacy, letting out a deep breath. “I will be. Let’s go.”

The two girls exited Stacy’s apartment, which she turned and locked. They headed down stairs, got in Lauren’s car, and headed off to Jack’s. Stacy grew more and more nervous as she got closer to Jack’s apartment building, which also happened to be Joel’s. she wanted to see him, but at the same time, she did not.

Upon arriving at Jack and Joel’s apartment building, Lauren and Stacy exited the car and began toward the front steps.

“Wait,” said Stacy, stopping in her tracks. “I can’t do this.”

“What?” asked Lauren, a little confused. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I just can’t.”

“Come on,” said Lauren, taking Stacy by the arm. “You will be fine. Just take a deep breath.”

“Ok,” said Stacy, exhaling. “I’m good now.”

With that, the two women entered the building and took the elevator up to Jack’s floor. When the bell rang and the doors slid open, they exited and walked to Jack’s door. Stacy was hesitant, but entered anyway. After discovering that Joel was not there yet, she was relieved.

This is going to be harder than I thought. I should have called Joel before tonight. Waiting was definitely a bad idea. It would be much more awkward in person than over the phone. At least I had a while to get a few beers in me before he got here to loosen myself up.

Stacy immediately grabbed a beer and opened it. She sat rather quietly on the couch while everyone else sat around and enjoyed themselves.

I just was not in the mood to talk. Don’t get me wrong though, I didn’t ignore my friends completely. Dustin, of course, was trying to hit on me the entire time as usual. I brushed him off like I usually did and pretty much ignored him. I would have felt bad, but, well, I know the guy and I just can’t feel bad for him. It wasn’t long after that Joel showed up.

Everyone’s attention was drawn to the door as the knob turned and it opened. Joel, John, and Tiffany walked through the now open doorway. Joel hung back while John and Tiffany walked past. They were greeted by Brian and Dustin, then Jack, Lauren, and Stacy, who upon seeing Joel, turned and walked into the kitchen. She was followed by Lauren.

“Stacy, are you ok?” asked Lauren.

Stacy let out a sigh. “No,” she replied. “I thought I was ready to see him, but I guess I’m not.”

“Just talk to him,” said Lauren.

“I still have no clue what I want to say to him.”

Lauren grimaced as she looked at Stacy. “Just be patient. It will come,” she finally said.

Stacy sadly nodded and the two of them headed back into Jack’s living room.

Remember the ten-ton elephant that was in the corner when I was going to break up with Ron? Well, he’s back and he brought friends. Seeing Joel did confirm one thing though. I was not still mad at him. It was just weird because we left the situation unsettled. Maybe I should have answered one of his calls.

Anyway, as the night went on, he did not try and talk to me, so I assumed that he wanted nothing to do with me. After staying at Jack’s for what seemed like forever, we finally left for downtown.

It was a little past eleven when the eight friends arrived at Shenanigans in downtown Charlotte. They stood in the long line for about fifteen minutes before finally reaching the door. There, the bouncer checked their ID’s to make sure that they were of age and then let them enter.

Loud music greeted the group as they walked came through the entrance. The club itself was practically alive as the walls were vibrating from the boom of the bass. The floor was not visible as people stood and danced shoulder to shoulder.

Shenanigans was a two story club, situated so that when you walked in through the front doors you were at the back of the dance floor. The D.J. stood in his booth, which was located on the back wall. There were two long bars, lining the sides of the interior of the building.

Upon advancing past the bar on the right, a door led to the restrooms. Also in this doorway, stairs could be taken to the second floor of club. The dance floor upstairs covered a little less than half of the first floor, leaving it open to look down at the dance floor below. Exiting the door at the top of the stairs, a walkway, which hugged the wall, led to the upstairs portion of the club, which was above the front doors. After passing a bar, the walkway opened up into the rest of the upstairs area.

Electing to stay on the first floor, Jack and Joel led the group through the sea of people that covered the dance floor and to the bar, where each of them ordered and received drinks. It was not long before Lauren and Tiffany dragged John and Brian onto the dance floor. Stacy was not far behind them as Joel, Jack and Dustin remained at the bar for the time being.

I thought that dancing would take my mind off of things, but it didn’t. I couldn’t help but feel bad for Joel. He just stood there by the bar while the rest of us were dancing. Granted, I know that he does not enjoy dancing like the rest of us, but he has never been the type to just stand by the bar by himself while everyone else is on the dance floor.

Jack and Dustin went over and tried to persuade him to come out and dance, but he didn’t. Brian had no luck either and neither did Lauren. It was then, that I decided to go over and end this stupidity once and for all.

Much to Joel’s surprise, Stacy shook off her nervousness and went over to him. She smiled warmly as she stopped in front of him. “Do you not feel like dancing?” she asked.

Joel smiled. “You know me,” he said, “always a wallflower.” There was a bit of an awkward pause for a moment, before they both started to speak. Both of them stopped to let the other one talk, but Stacy insisted that Joel be the first.

“I really am sorry, Stacy,” said Joel.

“I know,” responded Stacy. “I know you were just looking out for me, but you could have gone about it a different way.”

“Are we going to be ok?” asked Joel, his concern was obvious.

“Yes,” replied Stacy, nodding her head.

“Good,” said Joel.

“Come on,” said Stacy, grabbing Joel’s hand and pulling him away from the bar. “Let’s dance.”

And just like that, all was right with the world. As Joel and I danced, I could not help but feel attracted to him. All of my feelings we resurfacing once again. This time, though, I was single and ready to give into them. And then, Joel said the exact thing that I was wishing he would. But unfortunately, I would get in my own way.

“Stacy,” said Joel, “I have a confession to make.”

“And what is that?” asked Stacy.

“I love you,” said Joel.

“Aww,” said Stacy, smiling brightly. “I love you too...” Oh no! What if he means he loves me as a friend and nothing more? Don’t panic... don’t panic!

But then I did panic. And I blurted out the first thing that popped in my head. “...as a friend.”

No! What have I done!?

“I- I need to go,” said Joel through short quick breaths.

“Are you ok?” asked Stacy, a confused look took hold of her face. Joel looked crushed, but why? Wait, could he have meant...?

“Y-yeah,” he said. “I am fine.”

Joel turned and left Stacy standing there as he headed for the door. She watched as he made his way to the door and exited Shenanigans. She stood there facing a harsh realization.

I really screwed up this time. I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was no coming back from this one.

Episode 15: The Break-Up

2008-05-05T20:09:00.000-07:00

A few days have passed since I walked out on Ron this past Saturday and things have not gotten any better between Ron and myself. I have been pushing the thoughts aside and enduring, what can only be described as, this toxic relationship for far too long. So as tough as it was, I have come to a decision. I am going to break up with Ron.

The only problem with that is, I have no idea when, where, or even how I am going to do it. All I know at this point is that it has to be done. I have only talked to Ron on the phone since Saturday and I do not plan on breaking up with him over the phone. He at least deserves to hear it in person. I would have done it after our nightly trip to Stratler’s last night, which was Monday, but he had to work. My next opportunity would be tonight.

I had rehearsed the whole thing in my head since I had come to this decision on Sunday evening. I was nervous all day on Tuesday and kept running through possible scenarios in my head. I drifted through the day, barely getting anything done. It is a wonder how I managed to stay off the radar that day especially given my low productivity.

Upon getting off of work, Stacy drove back to her apartment. As each second passed, she grew more and more nervous over the fact that she was going to break up with Ron on that evening. She kept rehearsing what she had panned to say, but eventually started to think if she could go through with the whole thing.

Then, she reassured herself that it was the right thing to do and regained control over her nerves. When she got home, she began to think about how it was the best for both of them and then a thought occurred.

I am going to be single.

It was a weird feeling for Stacy, seeing as how she had not been single for quite some time. The more she though about it, the more liberated she felt. It was almost as if the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders. But it came crashing back down upon her when she started to think about the daunting task ahead of her.

Ron had not gotten off of work yet, forcing Stacy to take a cab down to Stratler’s, which was no more than a mile and a half away from her apartment building. As fate would have it, upon arriving at Stratler’s, Stacy found Ron awaiting her arrival outside. The greetings were awkward, as the two had not seen each other since Saturday night. The awkwardness did not last long because shortly after Stacy’s arrival, Lauren showed up and the three of them went inside to join their three friends.

Well the night was off to a... well let’s just say it was off. Seeing Ron after I had decided to break up with him was a lot more awkward than I had anticipated. I am just glad that Lauren came along to bail me out. There was, however, a lingering tension between Ron and myself.

When we got inside, we got to listen to another tale of Dustin, the incredible ass. After listening to what he had done to poor Molly, we could not help but laugh.

“Are you serious?” asked Lauren.

“I’m afraid so,” said Joel.

“What a pompous ass,” said Lauren bluntly. “I cannot believe that he did that!”

“I can,” responded Joel sheepishly, raising his beer to his mouth to take a sip.

After everyone shared a laugh and a few more comments about Dustin’s latest stunt, they veered off of the topic and on to a new one.

The night was off to a good start. Well, except for the two ton elephant sitting in the corner. I was ignoring it for now, but I knew that sooner or later, it would have to be addressed. Little did I know, that time would come a lot sooner than later.

Apparently Ron is really insecure, and on top of that, he is very threatened by Joel. Later in the evening, Joel said something funny and apparently Ron did not like how long or hard I laughed. He did not think that it was particularly funny which meant that in no possible way, should it be funny to anyone else, especially me. It couldn’t be the fact that he was not fond of Joel and that is the reason he did not think what he said was funny. Ok, sorry. I will get off of my little tangent here.

After Joel’s funny comment, he went to the restroom and Ron started.

“Why don’t you go with your boyfriend?” asked Ron of Stacy.

Stacy sighed and rolled her eyes. “Ron,” she said, “don’t start with that again.”

“I am just calling it like I see it,” said Ron.

“I said don’t start,” growled Stacy through gritted teeth. She was careful not to raise her voice so that she would not draw the attention of her other friends.

“You are going to sit there and lie to me?” asked Ron, who was growing angrier.

“Lie?” asked Stacy, who was also becoming angry. “I have not said anything that could be misconstrued or interpreted as a lie, Ron.”

“Yeah, whatever,” said Ron. “I am tired of this.”

“You know what? I am too!” said Stacy angrily. She stood and pushed her chair back forcibly, then stormed out of Stratler’s.

Joel exited the restroom to find Stacy marching out of Stratler’s with Ron right on her heels. As he watched the two of them argue through the front window, he quickly made his way back to the table to find out what happened.

Once outside, Stacy and Ron began to argue.

“Why don’t you just admit it?” asked Ron.

“Admit what?” replied Stacy.

“That you are in love with Joel!” shouted Ron.

“Are you that insecure, Ron!?”

“Just admit it, Stacy. I do-”

Stacy stopped Ron in mid-sentence and said, “That’s it, Ron. I can’t do this anymore.”

“What!?” exclaimed Ron, he began to yell uncontrollably as his face turned beet red.

It was not long after, when Ron started at Stacy. Stacy was terrified as she began to back away. Ron took two steps toward her and raised his hand, looking as if he were going to strike Stacy. She raised her hands, putting them in front of her face defensively.

That was the first time that I was legitimately scared of Ron. He had gotten mad before, but never like this. I am not justifying his reaction or coming at me at all, but he had been drinking, which could have caused this heightened reaction. All I know is that he was coming at me and I did not know what was going to happen or what I would even try to do to stop him. I guess it is a good thing that Joel came along.

Before Ron could do anything else, Joel came out of nowhere and punched him right between the eyes. Ron’s feet went out from under him, sending him to the pavement below. When he hit the pavement, he laid there dazed.

Do not get me wrong, I know that Ron had this coming and if it would not have happened, there is no telling what he would have done. Unfortunately the only emotion that came over me was rage. And the only thing I could say was...

Joel was shaking his hand as it was writhing in pain as he turned to face Stacy. She was stunned as she looked up at him. It was almost as if she did not recognize him. “Why would you do that?” she asked.

“Stacy, he was going to hit you,” said Joel, defending his actions.

“So you just hit him!?” yelled Stacy, pushing past Joel to attend to Ron. “You are no better than him!”

“I-I’m sorry Stacy, I don’t know what came over me.”

“Just get away from us!”

Ron’s nose was bleeding pretty badly when I got to him. Good thing somebody on the street who was passing by called 911, because I was starting to panic. Ron, who was an EMT, knew exactly what to do, even in his dazed state. By this time, all of my anger had melted away. One thought repeated itself over and over in my head.

What the hell was Joel thinking?

Episode 14: Her Tough Decision

2008-04-28T20:01:00.000-07:00

I woke up Saturday morning with a headache, but it was because of more than just the slight hangover that I had. My mind was cluttered. Ron lied, so break up with him right? Wrong. It is not that easy. Ron and I have been through a lot. He has helped me through a lot of tough times as I have for him. I know what he did was wrong and I won’t soon forget about it. He will definitely have to do a lot of groveling to get back on my good side, I will tell you that.

I woke up around nine and spent all morning thinking about the previous night’s events. How could he do that to me? Am I that unbearable to be around that he has to lie to me so he can go out with his friends? I do not remember the last time I was this angry.

My phone started ringing around eleven that morning.

“Wow,” said Stacy, picking up her phone to see Ron’s name on the screen, “He is up before noon on a day that he does not have to work. He must know that he really messed up this time.”

Hmph, this time. I don’t know why I even put up with his mess time after time. How much is too much? He is definitely on thin ice. The more I thought about it, the more I started hoping that the “ice” beneath him would eventually break. Does that make me a bad person? Overall, he has been a good boyfriend. I don’t know what to do.

I ignored the call and went on about my morning, cleaning up my apartment and doing my laundry. Then, about thirty minutes later, my phone rang again. Upon inspecting the screen of my phone, I saw Ron’s name again.

“Nope,” said Stacy, shaking her head and walking away from the table in which her phone rested. “I think I will let you suffer a little longer.”

I had not even begun to think about what I was going to say to him. I couldn’t think about the previous night without wanting to smack him right in the face, which is what I probably should have done. That would have served him right. No, I could not bring myself to strike anyone. That just is not me. I am going to have to get over being mad before I can think about what I want to say. Until then, he can wait.

Unfortunately, he had other ideas. I guess he thought that calling every twenty to thirty minutes would help me get over it faster. He was wrong. I eventually switched my phone over to vibrate and he eventually gave up...after calling eight times and leaving three messages. I actually started to feel bad, but all I had to do to shake that feeling was think about the previous night. At two o’clock Lauren stopped by.

“Hi,” said Stacy with a slight grimace as she opened her door to let Lauren in.

“Hey girl,” responded Lauren. “How are you?”

“Been better,” answered Stacy.

“Have you talked to him?” asked Lauren.

“No. I still haven’t figured out what I want to say to him.”

“Still angry huh?”

“Oh yes,” answered Stacy, shaking her head as she grit her teeth in anger.

Lauren saw that Stacy was becoming upset and immediately began to calm her down. “Easy girl,” said Lauren. “I didn’t come over here to stir you up.”

“I know. It just still angers me that he would do that he would lie to me.”

“I never thought that he would be the type of guy to do that.”

“Yeah, well anyway,” said Stacy. “I’m not going to spend my whole day thinking about it.”

“Good for you,” said Lauren. “We are going out tonight. Do you want to come?”

“Yeah, definitely,” answered Stacy.

It was at that point that there was a knock on the door. Puzzled, Stacy walked over and looked through the peephole. Much to her surprise, there stood Ron, holding a dozen roses. Stacy’s anger immediately melted away at the sight. She immediately opened the door.

“Hey,” said Ron with a half smile.

“Hi,” said Stacy, gazing at Ron, dazed with affection.

“Stacy, I am so sorry,” said Ron, genuine sorrow filled his voice. “I have been torturing myself since last night and I couldn’t stand it anymore, so here I stand, throwing myself at your mercy and begging you to forgive me.”

In all honesty, he could have said pretty much anything right then and I would have forgiven him. Although, my decision to forgive Ron and not dump him was not a popular one with the rest of the group. Being my best friend, Lauren felt as betrayed as I did, but she would not be won back as easily as I was. In fact, she would never trust Ron again.

Stacy all but leapt at Ron, throwing her arms around his neck, then kissing him. “I forgive you,” she said, relinquishing the kiss, “but it better not ever happen again.”

“It won’t.” said Ron, reassuring Stacy.

“Good,” replied Stacy.

Lauren rolled her eyes and grabbed her coat. “I’ll call you later,” she said as she passed Stacy and Ron.

“O-ok,” said Stacy, confused as to why Lauren was leaving with such haste. “See you later.”

Ron did not stay long, eventually leaving after twenty minutes. He stopped by Stacy’s on his way to work. Stacy searched for, and found, a vase for the roses and put them in it. After situating the flowers on her kitchen table, she spent the rest of the afternoon finishing her chores. By the time she was done, it was after five.

After eating dinner, Stacy called Joel to see what everyone had planned for the night ahead. Joel told her that they would be meeting at Stratler’s later that evening, then heading downtown. Stacy had planned on riding with Lauren and Brian, but Ron surprised her yet again by switching shifts and getting off to go out with her. Stacy then texted Joel and Lauren to let them know that the two of them would meet the rest of the group downtown instead of at Stratler’s as previously planned.

I was actually excited about going out. Now that things were fine between Ron and myself, I wanted to put the ugly incident behind us.

When Ron got to Stacy’s, the two of them headed downtown to meet up with the rest of their friends. Stacy mentioned that Joel and Katie were having some problems to Ron in hopes that he would not bring it up. Ron brushed off the comments about Joel as he usually did, which caught the attention of Stacy.

“Are you ok?” asked Stacy.

“Yeah,” said Ron. “I’m fine.”

“Then why did you make that face when I told you about Joel?” asked Stacy. “How many times do I have to tell you that we are just friends?”

“Well it sure doesn’t seem that way,” replied Ron.

“Really, Ron?” asked Stacy, starting to become annoyed. “Are you already starting?”

“Starting what?” asked Ron. “I didn’t say anything. You are the one that brought it up.”

“Whatever,” said Stacy. “Can we just have a nice night out?”

“Yes,” replied Ron.

The two rode in silence until the reached the bar in which their friends were at. When they entered the bar, they located the rest of the group and joined them near the bar to have drinks. Everyone was having a good time, except for Joel, who seemed distant.

Joel was miserable. I wanted nothing more than to walk over and give him a hug, but I did not want to remind him of his sorrows. As we moved from bar to bar, Joel’s mood seemed to get worse. Finally he started to bug John for his phone back which I found humorous. He actually started to sound like his old self.

“Give me my phone,” said Joel.

“Nope,” responded John.

“Come on, John,” pleaded Joel. “I just want to check my messages. I won’t call her.”

“Yes you will.”

“Just give me my phone,” demanded Joel.

“Nope.”

It went on like that for a while until Joel eventually stopped, but then, minutes later, he started again. Finally John handed the phone over to Joel, who headed for the door. He stepped out for a minute before coming right back in. After chatting with Jack for a minute, he came over and said his goodbyes and left. I felt horrible for him, but that feeling quickly passed as Ron started at me again and being that he had some drinks in him, he came right out with it.

“Why don’t you just go with him?” asked Ron of Stacy.

“Ron, don’t start,” responded Stacy. “I just feel bad for him, that’s all.”

“Yeah, right,” said Ron.

“Ok, you are drunk,” said Stacy, “so I am going to let this go. I am, however, leaving.”

After saying her farewells, Stacy left and got a cab which took her home.

I know, I know; Ron and I cannot continue on like this. Time and time again, he took me for granted and I was sick of it. I have a tough decision to make...

Episode 13: A Night Out

2008-04-21T17:48:00.000-07:00

Things had settled a bit since Joel blew out Dustin. Although you could not pay the two to get them in the same room together. On a few occasions it actually happened and it was absolutely miserable for everyone. Both of them refused to give any ground. I could understand that on Joel’s behalf, but I still do not see where Dustin gets off being so self righteous. He is completely in the wrong.

Unfortunately, he did not feel that way. Every time we were out and Joel was not coming or had not gotten there yet, all he did was talk about his disdain for Joel and his actions. Sometimes I wonder what it is like to be someone who is completely detached from reality. Then, I am very thankful that I am not like Dustin.

It was Friday night and Ron was at work. Joel had invited me to go with him, Katie, John, Tiffany, Lauren, and Brian to the movies, but I declined. That feeling that hit me the night that Joel and Dustin got into it was still lingering. It was hard to be around Joel and Katie when they were together. I do not know what the deal is. Maybe I am jealous.

So there I sat, in my apartment alone with a bottle of wine, watching some movies.

Stacy sat on her couched, curled up in a blanket. All that was exposed was her head and her hand, which held a glass of wine. She was staring intently at her television. She had just finished her first movie and got up to pop some popcorn for the second at nine fifteen when her cell phone rang.

“Hey, Lauren,” said Stacy, putting her phone to her ear.

“Hey girl,” said Lauren. “Why didn’t you come to the movie?” Stacy hesitated and before she could say anything, Lauren said, “It’s because of Joel and Katie right?”

“Yeah,” answered Stacy. “Hey wait a minute, aren’t you with Brian?”

“Yeah,” replied Lauren. “You should know by now that I tell him everything. He won’t say anything.”

“Fair enough,” said Stacy.

“Girl, you were right,” said Lauren. “Joel is wearing off on you. You just said ‘fair enough’ again.”

“Darnit!” said Stacy. “I made the mistake of saying it in front of him and I never thought I would hear the end of it. I told him that it wasn’t going to happen.”

“Awww, you are so cute!” said Lauren semi-excitedly.

“What do you mean?” asked Stacy.

“When you talk about Joel, you just have a completely different-oh, what’s the word I’m trying to think of-aura, I guess. Even the tone of your voice is different,” explained Lauren. “It is so cute! You two have to get together.”

If only...

“Yeah, well I am with Ron and he is with Katie,” said Stacy.

“About that,” said Lauren curiously. “Have you decided what you are going to do?”

“No, not yet,” answered Stacy.

“Well give it time. It will come to you,” said Lauren. “But if you do feel that strongly about Joel, then it isn’t really fair, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” said Stacy, starting to get lost in her thoughts. “It is just complicated.”

“Do you want to go out?” asked Lauren. “We were going to go home, but you seem like you need to get out of your apartment.”

“I was just going to stay in, but you are right,” said Stacy. “I need to get out.”

“Ok we will pick you up in about fifteen minutes,” said Lauren.

The truth is, I do need to get out of this apartment. I need to go out with my friends so I can have fun and just forget about everything. The longer I sit here, the more I will torture myself about Joel.

When Lauren and Brian arrived, Stacy was waiting downstairs. She was eager to have a carefree night. The three of them decided on Stratler’s, having no idea that Joel, Katie, John, and Tiffany had also chose to go there.

“Thanks guys,” said Stacy, sitting in the backseat of Brian’s mustang.

“Anytime,” said Brian, looking at Stacy through his rearview mirror.

Upon coming down the street that passed right in front of Stratler’s, Brian saw Joel’s Charger in front of them. It was heading away from the bar.

“That’s Joel’s car,” said Brian.

“It is, isn’t it?” asked Lauren rhetorically.

“They are heading home early,” said Brian.

“That’s not like them,” said Lauren. “I wonder if something happened.”

As we came to find out at a later time, Joel and Katie had an argument and that she had stormed out on him. I feel bad when I think about it because I felt relieved that they had left. One of the things that I was trying not to think about on this evening was the way I had felt recently when I saw the two of them together. Little did I know, those feelings would soon be nothing more than a distant memory after what was about to happen.

Stacy, Lauren, and Brian entered Stratler’s and elected to sit at a table rather than a booth. They were forced to wait a few minutes before the waitress came over to greet them. The three of them ordered drinks, Brian a beer and the two girls ordered martinis. Brian was hungry, so he put in an order for cheese fries.

The three of them received their drinks and sat there talking about nothing important at all, which is the way Stacy wanted it. Knowing that this trip was solely to get Stacy’s mind off of her troubles, Lauren and Brian also veered away from any potential topics that would lead her mind back to those thoughts.

After drinking three martinis, the girls took a trip to the restroom, leaving Brian alone with his cheese fries. While eating, Brian looked around at the other patrons, just checking out his surroundings. Shortly after, the front door opened and in walked three men and four girls. One of the men was Ron.

When Ron saw Brian, he looked as if he were a deer caught in the stream of headlights. His eyes widened as his face slowly became pale. He turned and said something to one of his friends and left them standing at the door as he started toward Brian. Unaware that Ron told Stacy that he was working, Brian assumed the Ron had come to join them.

“Hey Ron.” said Brian. “The girls are in the bathroom. They should be out in a minute or so.”

“Brian, this isn’t how it looks,” said Ron.

“What do you mean?” asked Brian.

“Well, uh,” said Ron, before pausing. “Stacy thinks that I am working.”

“Oh,” said Brian, putting the pieces together.

“Yeah,” said Ron, running his hand through his hair. “I gotta get out of here, but you can’t tell Stacy I was here.”

“Do what now?” asked Brian.

“We are guys, Brian,” said Ron arrogantly. “We have to stick together.”

“Um, okay,” said Brian, not sure what to think about this new side of Ron that he had never seen before.

“I’m serious, Brian,” said Ron sternly.

“Whatever you say, Ron,” said Brian, “but it doesn’t look like I will have to keep your secret after all.”

Ron then turned around to see Stacy and Lauren standing behind him. Stacy was looking at him with a confused look on her face. “Ron?” she asked. “I thought you had to work?”

“Well, I,” said Ron, not sure what to say. His awkward pause was then followed by a long silence.

“So you lied?” asked Stacy.

Ron sighed and hung his head. He looked like a boy who was being scolded in school. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“Save it, Ron,” said Stacy angrily. She then turned and ran out of Stratler’s.

Lauren glared at Ron, then turned and followed Stacy. Ron took a deep breath and let it escape his lips as he hung his head once again. He then turned toward Brian. He left a wad of cash on the table that would cover the bill and tip. He then started toward the door, thus walking toward Ron.

“That sucks,” said Brian as he walked past Ron.

Ron was angered by the comment, but he did not respond to Brian in any way. Instead, he stood there staring out of Stratler’s front window in the direction that Stacy had gone.

And just like that, my carefree evening was ruined. I was so angry at that point that I did not even know what to do. Now that I think about it, I don’t know why I didn’t just break-up with him right then and there like any sane human being would have done. The truth is, I knew that I was in a toxic relationship, but why could I not just end it? Am I that big of a mess?

Episode 12: Unbelievable

2008-04-14T17:59:00.000-07:00

It has been a couple of weeks since I came to the realization that Joel and I were always going to be just friends and that I was going to be happy for him no matter what. He has been dating Katie since then and I am genuinely happy for him. It was hard at first, but I eventually put my feelings aside. Needless to say, our friendship has never been better.

Not just that, but my relationship with Ron has gotten a lot better. He has been putting forth the extra effort lately and it has made a world of difference. Our relationship almost has the feel of a new relationship. It has been really nice.

Actually the group as a whole has really been clicking lately. That is why what happened next was so bizarre.

It was Tuesday evening, fifteen minutes before six, when Stacy walked into her apartment to change clothes before heading off to Stratler’s to meet her friends. Ron had called and was a few minutes away from her apartment building, so Stacy would have to be hasty. As Stacy was getting ready, her phone rang.

Seeing that it was Lauren, Stacy flipped her phone open and said, “Hey girl, what’s up?”

“Nothing, much,” answered Lauren. “Just getting ready to leave to go to Stratler’s. You are coming right?”

“Yeah,” answered Stacy, “just waiting on Ron to get here.”

“Yeah, I am waiting on Dustin,” replied Lauren.

“You are riding with Dustin?” asked Stacy.

“Yeah, Brian is already there and Dustin offered to swing by and get me since its on the way,” answered Lauren.

“That is surprisingly nice and not in any way obnoxious,” said Stacy. “That isn’t like him.”

“Yeah,” said Lauren, “tell me about it. Very uncharacteristic of him.”

“Maybe he has changed,” said Stacy, pausing to hear Lauren’s reaction. As Lauren started laughing, so did Stacy.

“Yeah right,” said Lauren. “That would be the day.”

Stacy then heard a beep in her ear and lowered her phone to gaze at the screen. Ron’s name came across the screen. Putting the phone back up to her ear she said, “That’s Ron calling. I’ll see you up there.”

“Ok, bye girl,” said Lauren.

Ron let Stacy know that he was almost there, so Stacy finished getting ready and awaited his arrival. Once he picked her up, the two of them headed for Stratler’s, arriving just after everyone else.

As I sat down at the full table with Ron, Joel, Katie, John, Tiffany, Jack, Brian, Lauren, and Dustin. I caught sight of Joel and Katie. I had seen the two of them together before, but for some reason, when I saw them on this evening, it struck me the wrong way. I quickly brushed the uncomfortable feeling and began to enjoy the evening with my friends.

We sat there as we usually did, drinking and having a good time, but the more I watched Joel and Katie, the more I felt uneasy. It felt kind of like jealousy, but why would I feel that way? I was happy for Joel. Again and again I tried to bury the feeling without success. I did finally forget about it, but only after the incident.

It happened a little over an hour and a half after I had gotten there. Ron had to work the night shift, so he was already gone. Brian and Lauren had gone home as well. Joel and Jack had gotten up to buy the next round of drinks, leaving John, his girlfriend Tiffany, Katie, Dustin, and myself sitting at the table. Dustin scooted over and was talking to Katie. It started off as small talk, but then quickly took a turn for the worse. It was when he started speaking quietly and trying to be discreet when I started listening.

“So, how are things going with Joel?” asked Dustin.

“Good so far,” answered Katie.

What is he up to? It was right then that I nudged John so that he would hear it too.

Stacy tapped John, who was sitting right beside her, a few times with her elbow to get his attention. When John looked at her, she motioned her head toward Dustin.

“Well, uh, if it doesn’t work out with the two of you, you should give me a call,” said Dustin.

Oh my God! Did he really just say that? Who would do that to their friend?

Katie, who was taken back by what Dustin had just said, said nothing. Instead, she gave him a weird look and nodded awkwardly.

Stacy leaned over to John, who was growing angry, and asked, “Should we tell Joel?”

“Well hell yeah we should,” said John. He then stood up and began walking over to where Joel stood at the bar; Stacy was right behind him.

“Dude,” said John, nudging Joel. “Dustin is hitting on Katie.”

“Do what now?” asked Joel, turning around.

“Yeah, he did,” said Stacy. “I heard it too.”

I felt bad adding fuel to the fire, but Joel deserved to know.

An angry look came over Joel’s face as he started toward the table. However, Jack stopped him by placing his hand on Joel’s shoulder before he could take more than two strides away from the bar.

“Hold on man,” said Jack. “What are you going to do?”

“I’ll tell you what I’d like to do,” said Joel angrily, then stopping himself. “I am tired of him doing stuff like this.”

“You know how he is,” said Jack, trying to calm Joel down. “He does this kind of stuff to me all the time and it makes me mad too. You just have to let it go.”

“On more than one occasion, I have been talking to a girl when we go out and he just comes over and cuts me off in mid-sentence by literally getting in the middle of us,” said Joel, seemingly growing angrier by the second. “Both times that happened, I was ready to say something to him, but you would tell me what you just did: ‘That is just how he is, it makes me mad too, just let it go.’ Well, I am not going to let it go this time, Jack. You may not want to stand up to him, but I sure as hell will.”

John and Stacy watched on silently, nodding in agreement as Joel stated his case to Jack.

I have no idea why Jack was defending Dustin, but good for Joel for not backing down. I do not blame him one bit for being angry. I would be too if I were him.

“Dude, come on,” said Jack. “Don’t make a big deal about this.”

“It is a big deal, Jack!” argued Joel, practically yelling at this point. “He is hitting on my girlfriend. Besides, if no one ever says anything to him, then he will just keep doing stuff like this.”

“We are all friends here, Joel,” said Jack. “He wouldn’t do anything like that intentionally.”

“Friends don’t do that and obviously he would do something like this intentionally because he just did it,” said Joel sternly, turning back toward the table.

The way Jack was defending Dustin was really bugging me. It just did not sit right with me. It really made me question his character. From that day on I was definitely wary of Dustin, but also a little so about Jack as well.

It was at that time that Kaite looked over at Joel with a disgusted look on her face. Joel saw this and motioned for her to come over. As she stood and walked over to where he was, Joel asked Jack, John, and Stacy if he could talk to her alone. The three of them agreed and returned to the table.

When I got back to the table I sat down across from Dustin, who had a smug grin on his face. He looked to be so proud of himself. However, I did not pay much attention to him because not long after, Joel came marching over to the table to confront Dustin.

Upon arriving at the table, Joel stood across from Dustin and asked, “What do you think you are doing?”

“What are you talking about?” asked Dustin, a look of confusion came over his face.

Not only did Dustin’s arrogance make Joel angrier, it made me mad as well.

“You know exactly what I am talking about,” said Joel, almost shouting. “Do you really think it is ok to hit on my girlfriend?”

“I didn’t hit on your girlfriend,” said Dustin defensively.

What a liar! My disdain for Dustin was growing with each passing second.

“Oh, so you didn’t say that if it doesn’t work out between me and he that she should call you?” asked Joel. “You didn’t say that she should be with a guy like you instead of me?”

“No,” responded Dustin, offended by the accusations.

“You are unbelievable!” shouted Joel.

“You were obviously lied to,” said Dustin smugly.

“Yeah, I have been lied to,” said Joel calmly, “by you. Because three people would not all fabricate the same exact story.”

“Man, forget this,” said Dustin, standing and grabbing his coat. “I’m leaving.”

“That’s what I thought,” said Joel. “Deny it til the end and run away like you always do. And by the way, don’t talk to Katie anymore.”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” responded Dustin angrily. He then put on his coat and left Stratler’s.

After Dustin left, everyone sat quietly just watching Joel. After a while things returned to normal, but the tension was still there and understandably so. Dustin was way out of line with what he did. Who does that to a friend? You think you know someone, then they go and do something like that. Unbelieveable...

Are You Serious??

2008-04-10T20:59:00.000-07:00

So, a man in Georgia robbed a convenient store. No big deal right? Wrong. Prior to robbing the store, the guy filled out an application, filling in his real name and phone number, and left it behind. That's right: HE LEFT IT BEHIND!

Is it me or are people getting more and more stupid everyday?

How can you possibly be that dumb? At least write the wrong name. Not only that, but the guy lived in the apartment complex right next door. The best part about this is, there is a video of the whole thing floating around on the internet. Priceless...

Episode 11: Just Friends

2008-04-07T15:59:00.000-07:00

I know that not telling Joel how I feel was the right decision. I have a boyfriend and I do not think that he feels the same way about me. Besides, I wouldn’t want anything to ruin our friendship. So if it was the right decision then why do I feel so horrible? It happened three days ago and I still cannot shake off this wretched feeling. Joel had not showed up at Stratler’s for the past few days either, which made it a little easier considering the weird moment we had outside of my apartment.

After the feeling the night had took on from our conversation during our walk home, the end of it was a train wreck. I just hope that I wasn’t the reason that Joel was shying away from Stratler’s. I wish I could see him just so I would know that everything was alright between us.

Anyway, it’s Friday night and Ron, Brian, Lauren, and myself decided to go out on a double date. Lauren and I have become pretty close since she started dating Brian and joined our group. I really enjoy going off with her seeing as how we are the only two girls in the group other than the ones the boys date. Some of them are actually pretty cool-I say actually because the guys don’t have a good track record as far as choosing girls goes-and Lauren and I try to befriend them even after the break-ups, but none of them stick, so the two of us have to stick together.

Stacy had not been home long before her cell phone started ringing. Each time her phone rang, Stacy leapt up and dashed over in hopes that it was Joel, thus signifying that everything between them was ok, but it was not. The first call she got was from Lauren to decide where they wanted to eat. Then next call was from Ron to find out what time he should pick her up.

After getting partially ready, Stacy decided to just call Joel. She picked up her cell phone and scrolled through her numbers. Upon coming to Joel’s name she paused, thus highlighting his name and number, but did not hit the green call button. After staring at the screen of her phone for a moment, she flipped the top part down, closing the phone. She held it in her hand as she paced around her apartment.

I can’t just call him for no reason. What could I call about? To see what he is doing tonight? No, I can’t do that because we already have plans. To see why he hasn’t been at Stratler’s? No, I don’t want to seem to needy. Just forget it...

Stacy paused momentarily and placed the phone on her coffee table. She then continued on to her room where she returned to getting ready for the night ahead. After she was ready, she walked into the kitchen area of her apartment and reached up and pulled a bottle of wine off of the top of the refrigerator. After retrieving a wine glass from one of the cabinets, she took the bottle of wine into the living room and sat on the couch.

She poured a glass of wine then turned on the television. After flipping through some channels, she determined that she was not in the mood for TV, so she sat there and sipped on her wine attempting to get lost in her thoughts while waiting for Ron to come pick her up.

After two glasses of wine, Stacy had accrued a small buzz. She had only planned on having one glass, but upon inspecting the clock after her first glass, she had discovered that Ron was twenty minutes late. Frustrated, she decided to have another glass. Another ten minutes passed, which made Ron thirty minutes late, when Stacy got a call from Lauren.

Flipping her phone open, Stacy said, “Hello.”

“Hey girl,” said Lauren. “Are you on your way?”

“No,” answered Stacy, taking in and letting out a deep breath. “Ron is late yet again.”

“Again?” asked Lauren.

“Yep,” said Stacy, obviously irritated.

“Do you want us to come get you?” asked Lauren.

“No,” replied Stacy, “I might just stay in if he does not show up in the next twenty minutes or so, but thanks for offering.”

“You have to come out,” protested Lauren.

Before Stacy could answer, there was a knock at her door. She told Lauren to hang on as she rose from the couch and walked over to the door. She looked through the peep hole to see Ron standing on the other side. She brought her phone back up to her ear as she turned the deadbolt and opened the door.

“He finally decided to show up,” said Stacy to Lauren as she glared at Ron.

“Ok,” replied Lauren. “See you in a bit.”

“Ok, bye,” answered Stacy. She then hung up her phone and turned away from Ron. She walked over to her bottle of wine, put the cork back into the opening at the top, picked it up, and started toward the kitchen.

“Not going to say hey?” asked Ron, watching Stacy walk to the kitchen and set her glass in the sink and then return the wine bottle to the top of the refrigerator.

“You’re late,” said Stacy bluntly, not looking at Ron as she walked to her room. She returned a short time later with her purse. “I would just say that I am not going to go out, but Lauren really wants to hang out and I would not leave her hanging.”

“I am sorry-“ started Ron before getting cut off by Stacy.

“Save it,” interrupted Stacy. “I should be accustomed to you being late by now, but for some reason I keep thinking that maybe, just maybe, you will actually show up on time for once.”

“Is it that big of a deal?” asked Ron nonchalantly.

“Actually,” answered Stacy, growing angrier, “it is, because it just shows how selfish you are.”

Ron let out a sigh. “Can we just go?”

“Gladly,” said Stacy as she walked by Ron and out the door. She stood there and waited for him to exit, then locked the door and the two of them were off.

Ron tried to talk to Stacy during their car trip to the restaurant where they would be meeting Brian and Lauren, but Stacy ignored him as she stared out the window. Ron finally gave up and turned the music up in order to fill the silence.

When the two arrived at the restaurant, they exited the car and walked in. They walked past the hostess and into the dining area, looking for Brian and Lauren. Upon finding them, they walked over and sat down at the table.

“Hey guys,” said Lauren with a smile. “You made it.”

“Sorry we are late,” replied Stacy.

“It’s fine,” said Lauren. “I am just glad that you are here.”

And with that, Stacy’s anger melted away as she got lost in a conversation with Lauren. Soon after, Brian and Ron engaged in their own conversation as the four of them enjoyed dinner.

As the night continued, my anger toward Ron eventually faded and I started to have a good time. However, my thoughts kept drifting back to Joel. I could not help but replay the other night’s events over and over in my mind. I wonder what he is doing right now?

After dinner, the four of them went back to Brian and Dustin’s apartment to watch a movie and hangout. As the night wore on, it did not get any easier for Stacy, whose thoughts continued to consist of Joel. The overwhelming, nagging feeling she had that there was something wrong between the two of them only continued to grow. Finally she decided that she needed to see him. She had to talk to him to see once and for all that nothing was wrong.

After indiscreetly prompting Brian to text Dustin and find out where they were, she suggested that they go out. Brian and Lauren turned down the invite, but Ron was more than willing to go. When Stacy and Ron left Brian’s apartment, they headed downtown toward the Dirty Sanchez.

Stacy found herself more and more anxious to reach downtown the closer her and Ron got. As usual, Ron dropped Stacy off in front of the bar so that she would not have to walk and drove off to find a parking spot. Stacy showed her licence to the doorman and traversed the front door. When Stacy walked through the door of the Dirty Sanchez, she immediately caught sight of Joel standing alone by the bar.

He looked so sad standing there by himself. I just wanted to hug him. Then, out of nowhere, a dark-haired girl walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. I watched them for a few minutes, waiting for an opening to approach Joel, but it never came. They seemed to hit it off really well.

Then, as I continued to watch them, my heart dropped. It was like he had forgotten that I even existed. Actually, I don’t know why I was thinking that. It’s not like I made myself available to him, or that I was even available in the first place. I guess I just thought...no, never mind; it doesn’t matter now.

Before Ron could walk in, Stacy turned and walked out of the Dirty Sanchez.

“I don’t feel so well,” said Stacy. “Can we go?”

Ron was confused, but seeing as how he was already on thin ice for being late earlier that night, he decided not to press the issue. “Ok,” he said.

On the way home, Stacy was deep in thought.

She doesn’t deserve him. Hmph, what am I saying? Neither do I. Wait, why am I acting like this? It was right then, that I decided that I was going to be happy for Joel. I just wanted him to be happy even if that is something that I could not offer him. He deserves to be happy... even if it makes me miserable. I guess I am just going to have to accept the fact that we are always going to be just friends.

Episode 10: Just Tell Him

2008-03-31T09:21:00.000-07:00

What if you loved someone, but you could never tell them how you feel? What if that person was one of your best friends and you saw them everyday? What if you knew that no one else could make you feel the way that person makes you feel? How long do I have to suffer? These are the questions I ask myself everyday. My name is Stacy, and this is my story...

It was an ordinary weekday evening as I sat at work staring at the clock, waiting for it to hit five so I could finally go home. Well first, I would be going to Stratler’s Bar to hang out with my friends for a while. It had become our nightly ritual. I really look forward to it because I get to see Joel.

I know what you are thinking: boyfriend? Nope. Joel and I have been friends since grade school. He is my best friend and I am secretly in love with him. He has no clue though, which is fine because I do not think that he sees me in that light. Besides, I have a boyfriend, his name is Ron. To be completely honest, the flare in our relationship is gone and it is only a matter of time before it ends, but I feel comfortable around him. It is nice to have a sense of security. That is what’s important right?

Stacy sat in her chair at her desk, staring at the clock in agony, trying to will the hands to the five o’clock position. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the thirty minutes passed and she was free to leave. She gathered her things and rushed toward the elevator, where she entered along with several of her co-workers.

When the elevator reached the ground floor, the doors slid open to reveal Ron, who was waiting by the front doors of the building, holding a rose. When Stacy saw Ron, she smiled.

Just when I think the spark is gone from our relationship, he goes and does something sweet like this.

“Aww,” said Stacy, walking up and embracing Ron while still smiling, “how sweet!”

“Just thought I would surprise you,” said Ron. “I figured you would rather me take you home than ride in a smelly cab.”

“Well, you did surprise me,” responded Stacy, before kissing Ron. “And you are right, I would much rather have you take me home.”

“Let’s skip out on Stratler’s tonight,” said Ron. “I am not really in the mood to go there.”

“Not even for a little while?” asked Stacy.

Ron shook his head at the question, then saw the disappointment on Stacy’s face. He gave in, saying, “Well, if you really want to, then we can. It’s just that-“ Ron stopped himself, then hesitated before saying, “Never mind.”

“What is it?” asked Stacy, walking toward the door beside Ron, her arm interlocked with his.

“Well,” said Ron, “To be honest, I am not a big fan of those guys, especially Joel.”

“You know that Joel is my best friend, Ron,” said Stacy, pulling away from him. “Why would you say that?”

“They just rub me the wrong way, especially Joel,” explained Ron. “I just get the feeling that he doesn’t like me.”

“Have you ever put forth any effort?” asked Stacy, exiting the front doors, then turning and walking toward the parking deck beside her building.

“Well, no,” answered Ron.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t judge them until you give them a chance,” said Stacy sternly, as the two of them had reached Ron’s car.

“You are right,” said Ron. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok,” said Stacy, getting in Ron’s car. He followed her lead and the drove off, heading for Stacy’s apartment building.

I hate going to Stratler’s straight from work because I feel so grungy when I get off, so I always head back to my apartment to freshen up. I know what you are thinking and you are partially correct. Joel is one of the reasons why I want to freshen up.

After stopping at Stacy’s apartment long enough for her to change, her and Ron headed for Stratler’s. Upon reaching the small bar, Ron dropped Stacy off in front and found a parking spot not far down the street. Stacy entered Stratler’s and stopped just inside the door. Scanning the bar, Stacy found her friends, focusing on Joel.

Oh no, I’m starting to get nervous, but look at him. Can you blame me? He is so cute. I can’t help but melt when I look into those eyes. Joel is the one person who has always been there for me. We have been best friends since I can remember. If only he felt the same way about me. I wish that I could summon the courage to just tell him how I feel so that I could find out once and for all if he felt the same way.

Stacy smiled warmly and waved at Joel as she started toward him and the rest of her friends. Joel smiled awkwardly, although Stacy did not notice, and waved back. The closer Stacy got to the table, the more nervous she got. I need a drink to calm my nerves. Shortly thereafter, Ron entered behind her and followed her to the table.

“H-hey Stacy,” said Joel, stammering slightly as he stood to embrace Stacy. “How are you?”

“Good, but I will be better once I get a drink in my hand,” replied Stacy, not noticing Joel’s nervousness.

“I know the feeling,” replied Joel, turning his attention to Ron.

Stacy walked past Joel as he spoke to Ron and said hello to the rest of her friends, Jack, Brian, Lauren, and Dustin. After Ron said his hellos, the two of them joined their friends at their table.

For about an hour, we sat around having drinks and talking about our days at work. I was already tired, but I loved the times that we spent together at Stratler’s every night. Not many people can say that they see their best friends everyday. It is one of the things that sets our group apart.

Jack and Dustin had decided to go see a movie and had asked the rest of us to go, but before I could say no and ask Ron to take me home, his beeper went off. I should probably mention that he is an EMT and was on call the night.

“I need to go,” said Ron, standing from his seat. He leaned down and kissed Stacy. “See you later, babe.” Everyone said their goodbyes to Ron, then he left.

“We need to get going too if we are going to be on time for the movie,” said Jack, taking the final sip of his current beer.

“I’m going to have to pass,” said Stacy. “I’m not really in the mood for a movie tonight.”

“Yeah, me either,” said Joel.

Good. I will get Joel to walk me home.

“There’s a shocker,” said Dustin, rolling his eyes at Joel.

I wonder what Dustin meant by that.

Everyone who was going to the movie paid their tabs and left, leaving Stacy and Joel sitting at the table by themselves.

“Walk me home?” asked Stacy of Joel.

“Sure,” responded Joel with a smile.

The two of them finished their drinks, settled their tabs, then left the bar, walking away from downtown.

It was easier for me to open up to Joel than it was anyone else, even my own family. We had a great friendship which allowed us to talk about anything and everything. The more we talked on that night, the more I felt my feelings growing stronger. I have no idea what it was about this particular conversation because it was no different than any other one we had, but the feel of it was different. We seemed to click on this particular night; I felt more connected to him than I ever had before. It was when I realized this that I decided to just tell him how I felt.

As we came closer to my apartment building, I began to grow nervous. There was a weird feeling in the air that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I started to get the feeling that he knew what I was about to do. I know, I know, I am still with Ron, but like I said previously, the flare is all but gone from our relationship. I have loved Joel pretty much since the day I first met him when we were kids. The time was just never right. However, the feeling of our conversation on this night set the mood perfectly.

When we got back to my apartment, I purposefully stopped at the bottom of the stairs leading up to my building’s front door.

“Thank you for walking me home,” said Stacy, embracing Joel.

“Anytime,” said Joel, unable to keep himself from smiling.

What a gorgeous smile. And look at those eyes; I can’t help but get lost in them.

“What is it?” asked Stacy.

“Nothing,” said Joel. “I am just lucky, that’s all.”

And there was my opening.

“Yeah,” agreed Stacy, “I know what you mean.” Then I panicked. What about our friendship? If I confess to him and he does not feel the same way then it will ruin our friendship. Not only that, but if he does feel the same way and we do date and break-up then that will definitely destroy what we have. Besides, Ron has been good to me. I cannot do that to him either. Before Joel could go any further Stacy quickly blurted out, “Not everyone can have a friendship like ours. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

Joel nodded as Stacy turned and walked up the stairs and entered the code into the keypad to unlock the door. She then opened the door and entered, stopping just inside. She looked back through the window and watched Joel walk away, wishing the circumstances could be different.

Random Sports Rant

2008-03-26T23:19:00.000-07:00

As I sit here already having withdrawals from the lack of the NCAA tournament the past few days, I actually realized that there are actually other things going on in the world of sports...

Jose Canseco is back in the news. Who cares? No one believes a word he says. He supposedly loves the game of baseball, yet he repeatedly tries to flip the game upside down. I am pretty sure that everyone realizes that Canseco is just bitter because he feels, in his opinion, that he was "blackballed" by baseball because no one would sign him so that he could try and eclipse the 500 homerun mark. Now he is trying to bring down baseball, but no one believes him. Good luck with that Jose.

Tiger Woods went off on Sunday. During his back swing on one hole a photographer snaps a shot of him which apparently threw Tiger's shot off and sent him on an obscenity-laced tirade which continued after the he left the green. Tiger is the number one player in the world, but the small click of a camera messes up his swing? I did not realize that golfers were so easily distracted. Who would have guessed.

Well, that's it for me. Later!

Episode 9: Her Confession

2008-03-24T09:47:00.000-07:00

It has been two weeks since I said that I was done with Dustin and I am not going to lie, it has been a great two weeks. It has not interfered with me hanging out with my other friends either, because he has been busy with work so he has not been joining us on our nightly trips to Stratler’s.

Apparently I was not the only one who enjoyed Dustin not being around because Brian made it clear that he, too, was getting tired of his roommate as well. Being with Brian without Dustin was almost like being with a guy who had just got out of jail. He even adjusted his schedule to minimize his time at home alone with Dustin. I feel bad for the guy, but like I have said many times before: he has done this to himself.

In other news, I have been on a few dates with Amber and so far that is going well. Although I do not think that Stacy is very fond of her. Amber has only met my friends once, but I still got the feeling that Stacy doesn’t like her. I don’t know why though, she is a great girl. The thought that she may be jealous has crossed my mind, but she has made it perfectly clear...twice...that we are just fiends so I do not think that is the case.

I heard from Jack the other day. He is doing good so far in Michigan. He has only been there for about a month and already has a girlfriend. I am not sure what the thought process is there because he is only going to be there for another month or two at the most, but what do I know? Just look at my situation. Oh well, whatever makes him happy.

On this particular weekend, we had decided to go to our favorite comedy club, Chuckles. Brian said that he “accidently” forgot to invite Dustin, and yes, he did the thing where you make quotation marks with his fingers when he said accidently. I know it was not the nicest thing for him to do, but nobody seemed to mind.

As Joel was driving himself, Stacy, and John to pick up Tiffany at her apartment, John sat in the back while Stacy rode in the front. Joel was flipping through the radio stations while driving when a song caught John’s attention. Joel let the song play for a few seconds before changing the station.

“Hey,” said John, “go back a station.”

“Why?” asked Joel, being intentionally difficult.

“Just do it,” protested John. “I like that song.”

Joel furrowed his brow as he changed the station back and looked at John in his rear-view mirror. “This song?” he asked, almost disgusted at the thought.

“Yeah.” answered John.

“Dude, you do realize that you just made me turn it back to a Miley Cyrus song, do you not?” asked Joel.

“So,” answered John. “I like this song.”

“There are so many things wrong with that, I do not know where to begin,” said Joel, shaking his head. “I guess I should start with the fact that you are a guy.”

“What’s wrong with a guy liking this song?” asked John.

“Everything!” exclaimed Joel. “No self-respecting man listens to Miley Cyrus.” He then turned the station.

“Come on!” yelled John.

“No,” said Joel. “I will not sit idly by and let you do that to yourself.”

“I like that song,” said Stacy.

“It is ok for you to like that song,” responded Joel. “You are a girl.”

“Fair enough,” answered Stacy.

“Yes!” said Joel loudly. “You insisted, but I told you that it would wear off on you.”

Stacy was puzzled as she looked at Joel and asked, “What?”

“You just said ‘fair enough,’” answered Joel.

“No I didn’t,” said Stacy, thinking about her previous comments.

“John?” asked Joel.

“Yeah,” said John, not looking up from his text message, “you said it.”

“No!” said Stacy, slapping her knee playfully. “I swore that would never happen.”

“It was only a matter of time,” said Joel, smiling while nodding his head.

When the trio arrived at Tiffany’s apartment complex, John exited the vehicle and entered Tiffany’s building. Joel and Stacy sat in his Charger, awaiting the arrival of John and Tiffany.

“So,” asked Stacy, “you really like this Amber girl?

“Well, I haven’t known her very long, but she seems like a really cool girl,” said Joel.

“You think so?” asked Stacy.

“Yeah,” answered Joel. “Why? Did you get another impression?”

“You want my honest opinion?” asked Stacy.

“Yes,” responded Joel.

“I think you could do better,” said Stacy.

If I didn’t know any better, I could have sworn that Stacy was intentionally trying to get me to shy away from Amber, but why would she do that? Maybe I am reading too much into what she is saying. She is probably just trying to be a good friend. After all, we have looked out for each other since day one. That has to be it. Now I feel bad for thinking that she would try to sabotage Amber and myself.

“Thanks,” said Joel, “but the girls aren’t exactly lining up at my door.”

“You will find the right girl,” said Stacy. “Who knows, she could be right under your nose.”

Wait, what? Does she mean her? No, I can’t get caught up in my feelings for her again. It has bitten me twice recently and I will not go down that road again. I just can’t help but think that she is trying to tell me that she likes me. But if she does, why would she play the friend card twice? This is making my head hurt. I need to get over her as soon as possible, so I will stop overloading my brain with nonsense.

“Yeah I guess,” said Joel.

“Any girl would be lucky to be with you,” said Stacy.

Any girl huh? Then why not you? Say that to her! No, this isn’t the time or place. Besides, I am supposed to be getting over her. Why does this have to be so hard? If it were up to me, I would have squashed my feelings for her the first moment I started to have them as a kid way back when.

“If you say so,” said Joel, with a sigh.

“I do say so,” responded Stacy.

Okay, my mind and feelings are starting to revert back to that place. New subject!

“I hope the comedians are good tonight,” said Joel.

Stacy grimaced slightly, seemingly disappointed at the subject change, but quickly hid it so that Joel did not see. “Yeah,” she said softly. “They usually are though.”

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes after Stacy’s comment, but then John returned along with Tiffany. When the two got into Joel’s Charger, they looked at each other as if they were entering a hostile environment. When Joel, who was deep in thought, did not start the car right away, John tapped him on the shoulder, bringing him out of his trance.

“You okay up there?” asked John.

Joel snapped out of his deep thought. “Uh, yeah,” he said. “Yeah. I am good.”

“We need to get going then,” said Stacy. “We don’t want to keep Brian and Lauren waiting.”Joel nodded and started the car, put it in drive, and pulled away from the curve.

When the four of them had reached Chuckles, Joel circled the parking lot once before finding a spot. He pulled in and the four of them exited the vehicle.

Stacy and Tiffany walked ahead as John held Joel back.

“What the hell happened when I went to get Tiffany?” asked John.

“I uh, I don’t know,” said Joel, shaking his head while looking down at his feet.

“Well something did,” said John, “because Tiffany and I had to waft the tension aside just to fit into the car.”

“Yeah,” replied Joel. He then stopped in the middle of the parking lot. “It may just be me, but it seems like everything that Stacy says and does implies the she has feelings for me.”

“I haven’t payed that close attention,” responded John.

“Am I an idiot?” asked Joel. “I try to confess my love for her twice and twice it goes worse than horrible, but do I give up? No, here I am believing that there is something there. What is wrong with me?”

“Ok, you need to slow down,” said John. “Take a deep breath and, for the love of God, stop beating yourself up over this. You want to know what I honestly think?”

“Yeah,” answered Joel softly.

“I think you were right when you decided to bury your feelings for her,” said John. “This is tearing you up inside and it is obvious to all of us who know about your feelings for Stacy.”

“You really think so?” asked Joel.

“Yes,” answered John confidently. “You need to let it go for your own well being.”

“It is just hard,” said Joel. “I have built it up for so long now that the thought of letting it go is just too much to handle.”

I never intended on having a heart-to-heart with John on this particular evening, but there I was in the middle of the parking lot having it. I knew that my inner turmoil was taking its toll, but for it to be apparent to my friends? It has to stop. But little did I know that fuel was about to be poured onto the fire, because it was at that point in the conversation that Stacy approached with her confession.

“Joel,” said Stacy, walking up to him, “I need to talk to you.”

“Okay,” said Joel, looking over at John, who nodded and walked away.

Stacy watched John walk away, then turned back to Joel. “There is something that I need to tell you,” she said.

“What is it, Stacy?” asked Joel.

Stacy appeared to be having some inner turmoil of her own. It was then that she sighed and said the last thing I expected to come out of her mouth.

“I cannot do this anymore, Joel,” said Stacy. “I am tired of hiding behind false feelings.” She paused and looked down, but not long enough for Joel to get a word in. Stacy then raised her head and her eyes met Joel’s. “I love you, Joel.”

At last, the words that I have been waiting to hear! Wait a minute, I have waited for such a long time to hear them, but why am I not more happy? Oh no, why is anger welling up inside of me?

“So at Shenanigans you knew that when I said I love you, I meant as more than a friend?” asked Joel.

“Yes,” answered Stacy. “I am sorr-” Before she could get her apology out, Joel interrupted.

“Then why did you say you loved me only as a friend?” asked Joel, who at this point was growing angry. Before Stacy could answer, Joel continued. “You do not know the heartache that I have gone through since then, Stacy. If you knew what I meant, then why did you do that to me?”

“Maybe I was scared,” said Stacy.

Joel gritted his teeth behind closed lips and took in a deep breath through his nose as he looked around aimlessly, completely befuddled by the situation.

“But I am telling you now, Joel,” said Stacy. “Why are you angry?”

Joel finally looked back at Stacy. “You have no idea what that did to me. I was devastated!” he shouted. He quickly regained control of himself and continued. “I have been torturing myself for thinking that there was more between us than what really was.”

Stacy, obviously regretful, looked down at the ground. “I am sorry, Joel.”

“Yeah,” said Joel. “Me too.” He walked past Stacy and up to John, Tiffany, Brian, and Lauren, who were watching intently. “Can you guys get a ride home with Brian?” he asked John. “I don’t much feel like hanging out tonight.”

“Yeah,” said John. “You okay?”

“To be honest,” answered Joel, “no, I’m not.” He then turned and walked back to his car, got in, and left, leaving Stacy standing in the middle of the parking lot, crying.

* * *

Rewind...

Episode 10: Just Tell Him

What if you loved someone, but you could never tell them how you feel? What if that person was one of your best friends and you saw them everyday? What if you knew that no one else could make you feel the way that person makes you feel? How long do I have to suffer? These are the questions I ask myself everyday. My name is Stacy, and this is my story...

March Madness!

2008-03-20T09:26:00.000-07:00

Well it's that time of the year again. Time for all eyes to be focused on college basketball. Everyone's favorite post season tournament started today, the NCAA tournament. I know I will be watching every game, yes even the ones involving teams I have never heard of and I will be pulling for some of those no-name teams because I picked them in one of the many brackets as an upset pick. I already have my brackets spread out on the table, watching with much anticipation to see what I have gotten right and wrong. I won't reveal my picks just yet, though.

Episode 8: Done

2008-03-17T09:05:00.000-07:00

Well it happened again. Stacy played the friend card. I should have been more specific when I talked to her in Shenanigans, but who would have thought that she would assume that I meant I love her as a friend; I sure didn’t. My heart leapt when she told me that she loved me and in an instant, the jubilation turned into an overwhelming sense of despair.

I was devastated.

All I know is that I did not want to have that feeling ever again, so I made a decision that night when I got home. I absolutely, without a doubt, had to bury my feelings for Stacy. That turned out to be the real challenge because since our reconciliation, Stacy had called me pretty much every day. Don’t get me wrong though, it is great to have her back as a friend.

The thing about it is, she has been acting the same way toward me that she did at Shenanigans last weekend. It really makes me think that she has feelings for me, but I cannot afford to go through yet another failed attempt at a confession. If she did feel that way, she would have to be the one to make the move this time.

Anyway, there are other things going on in my life besides my ongoing dilemma with Stacy, believe it or not. The situation with Dustin has started to resurface. He has always talked down to me and treated me like a second class citizen every since I started hanging out with him. Lately, he has gone overboard with it though. I can’t put my finger on it, and I do not mean to sound pompous by any means, but I am quite sure that he is jealous of my friendship with Jack.

Well not long after Jack left, he did something to push me over the edge. It was nothing big at all like hitting on my girlfriend, but it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

It was nine thirty on Saturday night when Joel, Stacy, John, and Tiffany piled out of a cab in downtown Charlotte and walked into a bar by the name of Stanky’s. When the foursome walked through the door, they quickly scanned the crowded bar to find their friends, Brian, Lauren, and Dustin. John found them sitting in a booth and started toward them, leading Tiffany, Stacy, and Joel.

Upon arriving at the table, the seven of them exchanged greetings and poured into the booth, large enough to fit the seven of them. Not making it noticeable, Joel deliberately sat on the opposite side of the table from Stacy.

Dustin, who was sitting beside Joel, nudged him with his elbow and said, “I have been scouting the prospects and I have found a few. I could use a wingman, so if you are going to be whipped by Stacy all night, let me know now so I know that I am flying solo.”

Joel turned his head and cut his eyes over toward Dustin, giving him an evil look. He rolled his eyes and sighed, not caring if Dustin saw him or not. “I’m in,” he finally said. “Who do you have in mind?”

“The two over there,” said Dustin, pointing to two beautiful blondes standing near the bar.

I am not fond of the guy, but I cannot knock Dustin’s taste. He knows how to pick them. Now if I can just keep him from being overly obnoxious and scaring them away... nah, I have to remember who I am talking about here.

Joel nodded in approval and turned to the rest of his party. “We will be back in a few,” said Joel as he stood. He and Dustin made their way to the bar where Dustin, who was not the least bit shy, walked right up to the two blondes and started talking to them. Joel followed his lead and shortly thereafter, the conversation was off and running.

The girl’s name that I was talking to was Amber and the one that Dustin was talking to was Kelly. They were local college students, both juniors. The longer we talked, the more Amber and I found out we had a lot of things in common. Then, as he usually did, Dustin made an obnoxious comment that, judging from the look on Kelly’s face, did not sit right with her. The conversation fizzled out soon after, so Dustin decided he would intrude on my conversation with Amber.

“Dude, what are you doing?” asked Joel, as the two girls walked to the restroom.

“I like Amber,” replied Dustin.

“Well that’s a shame,” said Joel, “because I am talking to her. We have a lot of things in common.”

“You can talk to Kelly,” suggested Dustin, much to the dismay of Joel.

“No,” said Joel. “You started talking to her. Don’t do this.”

“Fine,” said Dustin. “I will go find another girl to talk to.”

Dustin then turned and made his way through the crowd of people, disappearing moments later.

“Well that was easy,” said Joel to himself. “In fact, it was way too easy.”

An uneasiness started to come over Joel, but he shrugged it off as he turned to see Amber and Kelly approach him. “Where did your friend go?” asked Amber.

“Actually,” said Joel, wanting to call Dustin out, but then thought better of it, “I am not sure where he disappeared to.”

“Good,” said Kelly.

“Fair enough,” said Joel, sharing a laugh with the two girls.

Joel and Amber continued to get to know each other as an hour passed. The more Joel talked to her, the more he liked her. At times, it was as if they were in there own world.

Amber is great. Kudos to Dustin for initiating the conversation and talking to Kelly first. For the first time in a while, I was having a great time. Then, for reasons that I cannot even begin to wrap my mind around, Dustin had to ruin it.

I don’t know why he has to do some of the things that he does, but for some odd reason, I seem to be the target for most of them. It happened right after Amber and I had exchanged numbers.

As Joel slipped his phone back into his pocket, Dustin approached, making his way back through the people that filled the bar. When he reached Joel and Amber, he pushed passed Joel, almost knocking him down and walked up to Amber.

“Hey, let me get your number,” said Dustin.

Amber looked at Joel with a confused look as Joel looked at Dustin the same way. “I don’t think so,” she answered.

“Why not?” asked Dustin.

“What are you doing, Dustin?” asked Joel, putting his hand on Dustin’s arm and turning him around.

“Back off,” said Dustin bluntly. He then turned back to Amber. “Are you going to give me your number or not?”

“No,” answered Amber. “I’m not.” She then turned to Joel. “My friends are waiting for me. Call me.”

“Ok, have a good night,” said Joel.

“You too,” said Amber with a smile. “Bye.” She then turned and made her way to the door where her friends were waiting. Together, they exited the bar.

“Why did you do that again?” asked Joel, turning to face Dustin.

“Again?” asked Dustin.

“Yeah,” said Joel, “again. You do this kind of thing all the time.”

“What are you talking about?” asked Dustin, obviously clueless.

“Just forget it,” said Joel, shaking his head as he walked back to the table where his other friends still sat.

To tell you the truth, I wasn’t even that mad at him. He does that kind of stuff to me all the time, especially hit on girls that I am talking to, so I have learned to let it roll off. It was what he did next that thoroughly angered me.

As Joel stood at the table, talking to Stacy and John, Dustin came up and stood quietly for a few moments. It was obvious that he was bothered by something. Brian glanced over at him and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” said Dustin, glowering at Joel, who did not notice. A few minutes passed before Dustin spoke again. This time he said, “I’m leaving.”

Remember when I mentioned the straw that broke the camel’s back? Here it comes...

He said his goodbyes to Brian and Lauren, then made his way around Joel without saying a word to him and told Stacy, John, and Tiffany goodbye, then turned and as he walked back by Joel, he lurched forward, striking Joel with his shoulder.

The impact dislodged Joel’s beer from his hand, which fell to the floor. The glass bottle shattered as the liquid spilled and went everywhere. Dustin stopped, looking up from the floor, he and Joel now stood nose to nose.

Brian quickly stood and got between them as John launched out of the booth to grab Joel. By this time, the eyes of everyone in the bar were on the two men as they were being restrained by their friends.

“What is your problem!?” shouted Joel.

Dustin did not say a word. Instead he continued to stare at Joel as he took a few steps back and eventually turned and walked out of the bar.

“What was that all about?” asked Brian.

“Apparently that girl I met,” responded Joel. “He tried to get between me and her when we were talking and I called him out on it, but not in front of her.”

“You two need to stop,” said Brian sternly. “You are friends.”

Joel shook his head. “No. Not anymore,” he said. “I’m tired of the way he acts toward me.”

“You don’t mean that,” said Brian.

“Yeah, actually I do mean it, Brian,” said Joel. “I’m done with that guy.”

That felt great to say! It felt as if a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. It was at that moment that I knew that I meant what I had just said and that it was definitely the right decision. My friendship, if you can even call it that, with Dustin was over.

From The Web To Print?

2008-03-12T19:29:00.000-07:00

For about a week or two, I have been toying with the notion of turning my written series into a book. The episodes could easily be turned into chapters which would make the transition very smooth. The only problem with this would be that if I did turn it into a book, I would stop posting the episodes, or chapters, on my blog for obvious reasons.

I would hate to do that to everyone who reads the episodes every week and quite frankly, I enjoy posting them. They have really started bringing a lot of traffic to my site. Since the first episode, I have gotten a ton of positive feedback which makes me think that a book would be very successful.

What I am thinking as of right now is that if (actually it's more of when) I convert my written series into a book, I will post a few more episodes to keep those of you who are loyal readers hooked and hopefully get a few more people addicted to it. Fear not though, until I make a decision, the episodes will keep coming every Monday.

Shut Up Clooney!

2008-03-12T09:01:00.001-07:00

When is George Clooney going to realize that as an actor, he is nothing more than an entertainer? He is not a politician, nor is he an ambassador of the U.S.(which he hates I might add) or any other country for that matter. Now he is trying to get long time Olympic sponsor, Omega Watches, to pressure China into solving the Sudan crisis?

Last time I checked, National Governments do not take advise from sponsors, let alone entertainers. Clooney, like most celebrities in Hollywood, thinks that we care about his opinions on certain things just because he is famous. So, somebody needs to say this to Clooney, so I will take it upon myself: Shut up Clooney!

And my rant is over...and as you can tell it has been building up for quite a while, starting with Clooney bad mouthing America while in England. If you hate this country that much George, then why not go elsewhere and just stay there!

Episode 7: Confession

2008-03-10T09:01:00.000-07:00

It has been a week and a half since I played Floyd Mayweather and knocked out Ron. Luckily, Stacy was able to talk him out of pressing charges. That is the only time that I have heard from her in the week and a half and even then, we only talked for a minute at the most. I tried to apologize, but she wasn’t having any of it.

I heard through Lauren that she did not get back together with Ron. So here she is, single at last and I cannot make a move because she pretty much hates me right now. I tried to call her a few times, but gave it up about five days ago. The way I see it is, she will call me when she is ready to talk.

All I can do is wait.

To add to all of the bad things happening right now, we just found out that Jack has to leave us for a while. His job is sending him to Michigan for a few months. He does not really want to go, but the pay is good and it is a very good opportunity for him. Anyway, we are having somewhat of a going away party for him at his place the Friday before he left. Even Stacy showed up.

Joel, John, and Tiffany exited Joel’s apartment at eight thirty that night to make their way to the elevator and head down to Jack’s apartment. The trio did not have far to go as Jack lived in the same building as Joel.

“So, Stacy is going to be here,” said John, glancing at Joel out of the corner of his eye.

“And?” asked Joel, obviously not excited about seeing Stacy.

“She obviously is not that mad at you anymore if she agreed to be in the same room with you,” responded Tiffany, trying to lift Joel’s spirits.

“I guess,” said Joel.

“I still think it is awesome that you hit Ron,” said John, smiling.

Joel cut his eyes at John as Tiffany swatted his shoulder. “Are you trying to make him feel better or worse?”

“What? I’m just saying,” said John. “It was sweet.”

“Well I am glad that someone thinks so,” replied Joel. “Because Stacy doesn’t.”

“She will get over it,” said Tiffany. “Try to talk to her alone tonight.”

“I doubt it,” said Joel.

“You aren’t even going to try?” asked John. “That does not sound like the Joel that I know.”

“You are right,” said Joel. John smiled at the prospect of restoring Joel’s since of pride, but it was quickly ripped away by Joel’s next comment. “I don’t really feel like being myself right now.”

“How long are you going to beat yourself up over this?” asked John.

“As long as it takes,” answered Joel.

“Have you ever thought that it does not work out for a reason?” asked Tiffany. “Should it really be this hard?”

Joel’s face was solemn as he turned to face his friends. He took in a short, quick breath and let it escape his lips as he said, “Nothing in this world worth having comes easy.”

At that point, the three of them had reached Jack’s apartment. As Joel reached out to turn the doorknob, John leaned in and said, “Just talk to her.”

“Not another word,” said Joel sternly.

“Fine,” replied John. “Just trying to help.”

“Yeah I know,” said Joel somberly. “I messed up big this time though. I guess I will eventually get over it.” Joel then shrugged his shoulders and opened Jack’s door, which he traversed.

Upon entering, Joel hung back while John and Tiffany walked past. They were greeted by Brian and Dustin, then Jack, Lauren, and Stacy, who upon seeing Joel, turned and walked into the kitchen. She was followed by Lauren.

Joel’s dejected look said it all as sighed and shook his head. Jack greeted him with a sympathetic smile and a pat on the shoulder. “You’re good man,” he said. “She will get over it.”

“I hope so,” replied Joel, “but tonight it is about you, not me, so let’s have a good time.”

“Fair enough,” said Jack.

As the night continued, Stacy kept her distance, making it obvious that she wanted nothing to do with me. I wanted to talk to her, but I did not want to press the issue. Jack was right, she will get over it...hopefully.

After spending a couple of hours at Jack’s place, we headed downtown to one of our favorite clubs, a place called Shenanigans; great name I know. It was at Shenanigans that I decided that I became fed up with the wait and see approach regarding Stacy. I knew I needed to do something, but what? It was then that I decided that I would confess my love to Stacy. I know that I have tried this before, but this time it would be different.

It was a little past eleven when the eight friends arrived at Shenanigans in downtown Charlotte. They stood in the long line for about fifteen minutes before finally reaching the door. There, the bouncer checked their ID’s to make sure that they were of age and then let them enter.

Loud music greeted the group as they walked through the entrance. The club itself was practically alive as the walls were vibrating from the boom of the bass. The floor was not visible as people stood and danced shoulder to shoulder.

Shenanigans was a two story club, situated so that when you walked in through the front doors you were at the back of the dance floor. The D.J. stood in his booth, which was located on the back wall. There were two long bars, lining the sides of the interior of the building.

Upon advancing past the bar on the right, a door led to the restrooms. Also in this doorway, stairs could be taken to the second floor of club. The dance floor upstairs covered a little less than half of the first floor, leaving it open to look down at the dance floor below. Exiting the door at the top of the stairs, a walkway, which hugged the wall, led to the upstairs portion of the club, which was above the front doors. After passing a bar, the walkway opened up into the rest of the upstairs area.

Electing to stay on the first floor, Jack and Joel led the group through the sea of people that covered the dance floor and to the bar, where each of them ordered and received drinks. It was not long before Lauren and Tiffany dragged John and Brian onto the dance floor. Stacy was not far behind them as Joel, Jack and Dustin remained at the bar for the time being.

“This place is packed!” shouted Jack, trying to talk over the loud music.

“Even more so than usual,” said Joel loudly.

Jack and Dustin eventually waded out into the middle of the fray that was the dance floor and began to dance. Unable to bring himself to do so, Joel hung out by the bar. He was often visited by one or two of his friends at a time, who had come over to get another drink from the bar.

Then, out of nowhere and much to Joel’s surprise, Stacy came over to him. She smiled warmly as she stopped in front of him. “Do you not feel like dancing?” she asked.

Joel smiled. “You know me,” he said, “always a wallflower.” There was a bit of an awkward pause for a moment, before they both started to speak. Both of them stopped to let the other one talk, but Stacy insisted that Joel be the first.

“I really am sorry, Stacy,” said Joel.

“I know,” responded Stacy. “I know you were just looking out for me, but you could have gone about it a different way.”

“Are we going to be ok?” asked Joel, his concern was obvious.

“Yes,” replied Stacy, nodding her head.

“Good,” said Joel.

“Come on,” said Stacy, grabbing Joel’s hand and pulling him away from the bar. “Let’s dance.”

And just like that, everything was back to normal. You don’t know how good it felt to see her walk up and smile at me, and not to mention grab my hand and pull me out onto the dance floor. What a relief. I really thought she was going to be mad forever.

The rest of the night was perfect. Stacy and I danced like we were the only two people in Shenanigans. Then we had some drinks and danced some more. I honestly do not remember the last time we had that much fun together. Then, out of the blue, it happened...

As Joel and Stacy exited the dance floor to return to the bar for another drink, Stacy tripped. Joel quickly wrapped his arms around her waist, catching her and hoisted her back to her feet. Stacy smiled and thanked him as their eyes met.

It is amazing how one look, one glance, one smile, one moment, can make you feel. I felt invincible standing there with my arms around Stacy and she was reciprocating. The moment was perfect. I knew what I had to do.

“Stacy,” said Joel, “I have a confession to make.”

“And what is that?” asked Stacy.

“I love you,” said Joel.

“Aww,” said Stacy, smiling brightly. “I love you too...” Stacy hesitated, but Joel did not notice as pure jubilation surged through his every fiber. She loves me too! I cannot believe that this is happening! She just made me the happiest person- “...as a friend.”

Joel immediately choked up. He felt as if someone had punched him in the stomach and knocked the air right out of him. He felt the tears coming and fought intensely to keep them in, but it was just too much. “I- I need to go,” he said through short quick breaths.

“Are you ok?” asked Stacy, a confused look took hold of her face.

“Y-yeah,” he said. “I am fine.” But I wasn’t. I had just confessed my love for the girl that I have loved since the first moment I saw her when we were kids and she returns it only to add as a friend to the end? It couldn’t be right. I saw the way she looked at me throughout the night, the way she smiled at me, touched me. I wasn’t mistaken; I couldn’t have been, no way, no how... or maybe I was. I don’t know. I just don’t know.

Joel turned and left Stacy standing there as he headed for the door. He exited the club and got in the first cab that stopped for him, fighting back the tears all the while. When his cab dropped him off in front of his apartment building, he paid the driver and got out. He stood there for a moment and watched the cab drive away. Then, he turned and walked up the stairs leading to the front door of his building. A single tear ran down his right cheek.

Breaking Benjamin Concert

2008-03-08T08:14:00.000-08:00

I went to the Breaking Benjamin, Three Days Grace, Seether concert last night at the Greensboro Coliseum and I have never had more fun at a concert. Breaking Ben is my favorite band so I am sure that had something to do with it, but all three bands put on an excellent show. Even the band Hurt, who opened up, was good. Unlike some bands or musicians, I am happy to say that all three bands sounded great live. If you are a fan of any of them and they are coming to a town near you, check out their show. You will have fun... and be sure to crowd surf!

Favre Calls it Quits

2008-03-05T09:04:00.000-08:00

The NFL lost not only a truly great player, but also an icon when Brett Favre announced his retirement yesterday. Favre said that he was "mentally tired" and decided to hang it up after seventeen NFL seasons. Favre ends his career with a Super Bowl title, three MVP awards (the most by any player), and numerous records.

This past season, Favre broke Dan Marino's touchdown record (420) and passing yards record (61,361), ending the year, and his career, with 442 touchdown passes and 61,655. He also had the most wins as a starting quarterback (160), completions (5,377), attempts (8,758), and interceptions (288).

Not only will Brett Favre be remembered for his passing records, but he will also be remembered for his heart, enthusiasm for the game, and the way he played the game: like it was just that, a game, meant to be fun.

Brett Favre will be remembered as one of the greatest quarterbacks ever to play the game. I know that I will miss watching him play.

Episode 6: No Better

2008-03-03T08:58:00.000-08:00

Well as hard as it was, I did what I had to do. It was not fair really, and I do feel bad because Katie never stood a chance. My feelings for Stacy were far too strong. If you haven’t guessed by now, I broke up with Katie. I really did hate to do it, but like I said, it just was not fair to her.

If you think that she was angry the other night, you have seen nothing. She gave it to me pretty good when I went over there that night, but I stood there and took every minute of it because I deserved it.

So now I am back where I was a few months ago... in love with Stacy.

Joel, Jack, Brian, and Dustin sat in Stratler’s on a Tuesday evening waiting for the rest of their group to show up, talking about Joel and Katie’s break up.

“Dude, you are an idiot,” said Dustin. “She was hot!”

“Thanks,” responded Joel, “but somehow, that does not console me.”

“I’m just saying, you should have held onto her,” said Dustin. “That’s what I would have done.”

“Even if you were in love with someone else?” asked Joel.

“Yeah! Like I said, she was hot!” said Dustin.

Joel fought off the urge to roll his eyes at Dustin’s comments and just nodded. The last thing I need is relationship advice from that guy.

“Speaking of hot,” said Dustin, “how come no one has ever tried to hit on our waitress? She is here all the time and no one has ever tried to get her number.”

“That’s because it is almost impossible to pick up a waitress,” replied Jack.

“Very true,” agreed Joel. “There is a way, but like Jack said, it is nearly impossible.”

“It’s a process,” said Jack. “First, you have to make small talk, and be interesting.”

“Second,” continued Joel, “you casually find out if she is single, but you can’t make it obvious.”

“Third,” added Jack, “you have to get some one on one time.”

“Then,” said Joel, his face became serious, “and only then, do you ask her-and this is key-to hangout. You have to make it casual, then make your move at a later time.”

Dustin paused for a moment to take in what Jack and Joel told him. He looked like he was deep in thought, but quickly snapped out of it. “That is way too much work,” he said, “I have a much better way.” Dustin then asked the waitress for his check the next time she came around.

“Your way is to leave?” joked Brian.

“I have to go anyway,” replied Justin. “Just watch.”

The four of them waited until the waitress brought Dustin’s check to him and then for her to come back and pick it up. When she returned to the table, Dustin said, “There is a problem with my check. You forgot something.”

“What did I forget?” asked the waitress.

“Your phone number.”

Joel, Jack, and Brian cringed when the words left Dustin’s lips. They each looked at each other and shook their heads, mostly in embarrassment.

Who says that? No, seriously, WHO SAYS THAT!? The look on Molly’s face-the waitress’s name is Molly by the way-said it all. Needless to say, she was dumbfounded. I actually felt kind of bad for Dustin, but then I realized that he had done it to himself.

Molly forced out a laugh, took Dustin’s check and credit card, and went to run his card.

“Sweet,” said Dustin. “I think she is going to give me her number.”

What planet is this guy on??

Everyone sat there silently hoping...praying that Molly would be back soon to break the unbearable, awkward silence. Sure enough, moments later, she came back to the table and dropped off the black, leather check presenter. Dustin eagerly opened the check presenter and ripped the receipts from it and thumbed through them. As expected, there was not a phone number on any of the copies of the receipt.

“Fair enough,” said Dustin. “No tip.”

“You can’t be serious,” protested Jack.

“Because your stupid pick-up line didn’t work?” asked Joel.

“That line is a classic,” argued Dustin.

“If you say so,” said Brian, holding back a laugh.

“Screw you guys,” said Dustin angrily, slamming down the receipt and pen before storming out.

“We should leave her a tip,” said Jack.

“Read my mind,” said Joel, reaching for his wallet and putting three one dollar bills down on top of the ones that Jack and Brian had put down at Dustin’s seat.

Until Stacy, Ron, and Lauren showed up, I sat and listened to Jack and Brian trash Dustin. I’m not going to lie, I chimed in from time to time, but they really tore into him. It seemed like the two of them had a real problem with Dustin. The only thing that bothered me about the whole situation was that they did it behind his back. Why not just tell him to his face? When our three friends got there, we told them the story and all shared a good laugh. The night was off to a good start.

Little did any of us know, that would soon change.

I am not sure if anyone else noticed it, but there seemed to be tension between Stacy and Ron. They did not seem to have that connection that they usually did. They just seemed off. It was only a matter of time before things boiled over. And no, I did not take pleasure in the fact that they were having problems.

An hour later, Joel exited the restroom to find Stacy marching out of Stratler’s with Ron right on her heels. As he watched the two of them argue through the front window, he quickly made his way back to the table to find out what happened.

“Dude, you missed it,” said Jack, peering out the window along with everyone else.

“Obviously,” said Joel, watching Stacy, obviously concerned for her. “What happened?”

Before anyone could answer, the group let out a collective gasp as Ron went ballistic. His face turned beet red as began to yell at Stacy. His mannerisms were becoming very aggressive. Joel began walking toward the door.

“Where are you going, Joel?” asked Lauren.

“I’m going out there,” said Joel, pausing for a moment to answer, but staring intently at Stacy and Ron.

“Don’t get in the middle of it,” said Lauren.

Lauren’s words did not reach Joel, however, as he had started once again toward the door.

“Joel!” yelled Jack.

Meanwhile, on the sidewalk in front of Stratler’s, Stacy and Ron continued to argue. Finally, Stacy stopped Ron in mid-sentence and said, “That’s it, Ron. I can’t do this anymore.”

“What!?” exclaimed Ron, he began to yell uncontrollably as his face turned beet red.

It was not long after, when Ron started at Stacy. Stacy was terrified as she began to back away. Ron took two steps toward her and raised his hand, looking as if he were going to strike Stacy. She raised her hands, putting them in front of her face defensively.

Before Ron could do anything else, Joel came out of nowhere and punched him right between the eyes. Ron’s feet went out from under him, sending him to the pavement below. When he hit the pavement, he laid there dazed.

I don’t know what came over me. I know that it was none of my business, but Ron was definitely going to strike Stacy and I could not let that happen. When I walked out of the front door, I had no intentions of punching him, but when I saw him go at her, my blood began to boil. Before I knew it, my fist was clinched and I decked him.

Joel was shaking his hand as it was writhing in pain as turned to face Stacy. She was stunned as she looked up at him. It was almost as if she did not recognize him. “Why would you do that?” she asked.

“Stacy, he was going to hit you,” said Joel, defending his actions.

“So you just hit him!?” yelled Stacy, pushing past Joel to attend to Ron. “You are no better than him!”

“I-I’m sorry Stacy, I don’t know what came over me.”

“Just get away from us!”

Everyone inside the small bar was staring through the window at Joel as he turned to reenter. Joel walked back to the table with a blank look on his face, looking back just once to see Stacy helping Ron into a cab.

Nobody said anything to Joel as he paid his tab. They knew that he was already beating himself up over it enough for all of them. After paying his tab, Joel exited the bar and began toward his home, electing to walk so that he may get lost in his thoughts.

What have I done?

Selig Will Not Ban Bonds...But He Should

2008-03-02T08:34:00.000-08:00

Allan H. (Bud) Selig has said that he will not ban Bonds from baseball. Of course Bud Selig will not stand up and take a stand; he is a spineless coward. You can blame all of the players who took steroids for ruining baseball, but do not forget about ole Bud. He was the one who swept all of it under the rug when it was happening. He refuses to simply put his foot down and show a little backbone.

Barry Bonds and John Rocker, along with other players, failed drug tests over the span of their careers and what did baseball do? What did Selig do? Nothing. They allowed them to continue breaking the rules and use illegal drugs.

I do not know about you, but in my eyes, using illegal drugs is worse than betting on baseball, but Pete Rose remains banned from the game while drug users, i.e. Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, and so on, are allowed to be a part of the sport in which they corrupted, while Selig sits back and does nothing.

Focus on the players who cheated all you want, but Bud Selig allowed it to go on all those years, so when blaming people for baseball's corruption, do not forget about Allan H. Selig.

Celebrity Leap Day Birthdays

2008-02-29T10:17:00.000-08:00

Happy Leap Day! I saw this story on msn.com and found it pretty interesting. It tells all the celebrities with leap day birthdays. They include: Self Guru Tony Robbins, Musician Ja Rule, NHL Goalie Cam Ward, Soap Star Antonia Sabato Jr., Congressman Bart Stupak, and others. I thought it was pretty interesting. For the full story go here -> http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=303294

Secret AGENT Man!

2008-02-26T21:58:00.000-08:00

In January of this year, I sent off my manuscript to a publisher. Their website said that it would take 2 to 6 months to get back to me. Being impatient, I have wanted to send my manuscript to other publishers as well, but the publishers I chose do not accept manuscripts that have already been submitted to other publishers. Very frustrating!

There are also numerous publishers that I did not even consider because they do not accept manuscripts that aren't submitted by an agent. So, I sent out some letters to agents. That's right: I am officially in the market for a literary agent!

I made a real New Years resolution this year and it was not to lose weight. It was to get my book published. I really feel that if I can secure a spot with an agent, especially one who works off of 100% commission, then they will work twice as hard to help me get published.

Anyway, this is exciting news and yet another step in my journey as a writer, so I felt compelled to share it with you. I am feeling very confident that getting published is going to happen for me very soon. I just hope that my intuition is right!

Episode 5: Tough Decision

2008-02-25T08:59:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had a dream about someone that was so intense that it actually gave you feelings for that person? That is exactly what happened to me. It is funny, though, because I thought I was over Stacy, but I guess my subconscious had other ideas. So, just like that, my feelings for Stacy are back. I cannot just ignore my newfound old feelings and pretend that they do not exist.

So, now what?

It was Saturday morning around eleven o’clock, when Joel was awakened by a pounding at his door. He was still slumped down on his couch, sitting in the same spot where he had his dream the previous night. The last thing he remembered before finally drifting off to sleep was looking at the clock, which read 7:38.

He quickly sprung up off of his couch as the loud pounding came again, which came with Joel’s cell phone receiving a text message, immediately followed by a phone call. Joel looked at the screen of his phone to see the name John.

“I’m coming!” he shouted, trotting toward the door.

“Hurry up!” yelled John. “I have to use the bathroom!”

Joel unlocked the deadbolt and was about to turn the knob, when John burst through the door, almost hitting Joel in the process, and ran down the short hallway to the bathroom. Joel simply shook his head as he shuffled into the kitchen where he reached into a cabinet and pulled out a box of Lucky Charms.

Joel proceeded to pour the cereal into a bowl, followed by pouring milk onto the cereal, and adding a spoon. He turned to put the milk up just as John came out of the bathroom.

“Thanks man,” said John, taking the cereal off of the counter.

“Dude, bring me back my Lucky Charms before something bad happens to you,” said Joel, going after John. “I am running on about three and a half hours of sleep and I am not in the mood.”

“But they are magically delicious!” said John, sitting on the couch and turning on the television.

“Then make your own bowl,” said Joel, taking the bowl out of John’s left hand and the cereal-filled spoon out of his right hand just as he was about to insert it into his mouth.

“Oh, come on!” yelled John. He then noticed that Joel was not laughing along with him. “What is wrong with you?”

“Rough night,” answered Joel, taking his first bite of his cereal.

“What happened?” asked John.

Right as Joel was about to answer, John’s tone signifying that he had received a text message went off. “Go ahead, I’m listening,” he said

As Joel proceeded to tell John about the dream and the resurfacing of his feelings for Stacy, John completely ignored him as he continued to text. Finally, Joel noticed and asked, “Are you even listening?”

“No,” answered John. “Sorry, I’m not.”

“Ok,” said Joel. “I’m officially done talking to you now.”

“Uh huh,” replied John. “Then what happened?”

“You can stop pretending to listen now,” said Joel, snidely cutting his eyes over toward John, then returning his gaze to his cereal.

“Sweet,” responded John, returning to his text messaging.

So John and I sat there in silence as we watched TV for about an hour or two. Well, I watched TV while he continued to text Tiffany. Actually, I spent most of my time wracking my brain to try and figure out what to do. Obviously, it is not fair to Katie if I still have feelings for Stacy, but I really like Katie. It would be nice to talk to someone about it, but Captain Text Message can’t talk to anyone but his girlfriend.

Finally, around two o’clock, John suggested that we get something to eat, so we ordered a pizza. Then, out of nowhere, he actually did and said something that shocked me.

“Alright,” said John, turning off his cell phone, “I am tired of seeing you mope. What is going on?”

Joel looked at John, a surprised expression shaped his face. “I don’t think I have ever seen you turn that thing off,” he said, motioning toward John’s phone.

“Dude, despite what I say,” responded John. “I do care. Now, what is going on?”

And that is why John and I are best friends. When it comes down to it, he does actually care. So, I explained to him everything that had happened the previous night, but it dumbfounded him as much as it did me. We threw out some possible solutions, some we weighed more heavily than others, but in the end we passed on all of them.

“I think that I finally figured out what you need to do,” said John.

“What is that?”

“Go out and have a few drinks.”

Joel paused for a moment, then nodded. “That is the best idea you have come up with so far,” he said.

“Sweet, let’s do it,” responded John, standing up. “I’m going to go get ready.”

After we got ready, I called Jack, who decided to join us on the condition that Dustin could come as well. It had been over a month since the incident and I had all but let it go, so it was not a problem for me that he came. I would hang out with him, but that did not mean that I trusted him. Maybe it was just me, but I felt that I had a good reason to be wary.

When Jack and Dustin arrived, we headed down to, where else, but Stratler’s before we went downtown. I still had not heard from Katie, who, apparently, was still mad. Brian, Lauren, and Tiffany met us at Stratler’s. Stacy had called, but her and Ron decided to meet us out, so, minus Katie, the entire crew would be accounted for.

As the night wore on, the seven friends eventually left Stratler’s for downtown Charlotte. Once downtown, they met up with Stacy and Ron, but did not stay in any one bar for more than an hour or so, before leaving for a new one. In that particular part of town, there were as many as ten bars in a half mile area, resulting in the urge to visit each one in the same night.

Joel seemed distant as he was obviously preoccupied with the previous night’s events. He had surrendered his cell phone to John so that he would not call Katie after he had been drinking. At the fourth bar they visited on that night, Joel began to want to call Katie.

“Give me my phone,” said Joel.

“Nope,” responded John.

“Come on, John,” pleaded Joel. “I just want to check my messages. I won’t call her.”

“Yes you will.”

“Just give me my phone,” demanded Joel.

“Nope.”

The exchange went on for a while before Joel finally stopped pestering John for his phone. That was not the end of it, however, as Joel started up a while later after having a few more drinks. John finally relinquished Joel’s cell phone, after ten minutes of Joel harassing him.

Joel immediately exited the bar and paced up and down the sidewalk as he attempted to call Katie. After no answer, Joel declined to leave a message and returned to his friends.

“Did you talk to her?” asked Jack, waiting for Joel inside the bar.

“Nope,” answered Joel.

“What set her off last night?” asked Brian.

“I couldn’t tell ya,” replied Joel, shaking his head.

To this day, I still had no clue what had gotten into Katie. I know what I said to her after she got mad was not the best thing to say at the moment, but she was mad in the first place. I continued to mull over the situation until I got a terrible headache. It was tough, but I finally came to a decision.

Joel said his farewells to his friends and exited the bar they were currently at. While hailing a cab he once again attempted to call Katie. This time, Joel finally got through as Katie actually decided to answer the phone.

Sitting in the back of the cab, Joel said, “I am coming over. We need to talk.”

90 Minutes in Heaven

2008-02-22T19:41:00.000-08:00

I just started reading a book called, "90 Minutes in Heaven," which is about a man named, Don Piper, who was in a terrible car accident and was actually pronounced dead at the scene when paramedics arrived minutes later. When Don died, he went to heaven and in his book he describes what he saw.

Meanwhile back at the crash site, a minister was told by God to get in the car and pray for Piper, who was badly mangled as a result of being hit head on. The minister crawled into the compacted car and sat behind Piper, the only part of the car he could fit in, praying and singing hymns. An hour and a half after Piper was pronounced dead, he began singing with the minister. Minutes later, he was rushed to the hospital and eventually lived to tell about it.

As a religious person, I have goosebumps just writing about it. I am only a few chapters in, but I am already finding the book very powerful. I recommend it for religious people as well as skeptics. I am sure that the more I read it, the more I will have to say about it. Until next time...

Come Clean Tejada

2008-02-19T21:46:00.000-08:00

Miguel Tejada arrived in Houston Atsros camp today and when asked about steroids, he refused to answer. As history will tell us, that is not a good course to take. It is not as bad as lying about it, but silence is not the way to go.

Jason Giambi is the perfect example. If you remember, Giambi was involved in the Balco scandal along with Barry Bonds. Right now, many of you are probably saying, "Oh yeah, he was involved in that."

Does Giambi go through the media circus that Bonds is going through? Is he being charged with perjury? The answer to both off those questions is no.

Why is that?

Because he came clean. He came out with it and confessed and now you never hear anything about him being linked to Balco.

Andy Pettitte has recently done the same thing that Giambi did and I believe that after a year or two, as in Giambi's case, it will be forgotten about. I am in no way condoning the fact that the two of them used performance enhancers, but they took the smart path. They did not lie and in Giambi's case, people have all but forgotten about it.

Now, back to Tejada.

If he does not confront the allegations and the press head on, the steroid accusations will follow him around for the remainder of his career. So the best thing that Tejada can do is take a page out of Giambi and Pettitte's play book and just come clean.

Thank You

2008-02-18T23:55:00.000-08:00

I have been getting a lot of emails lately with a lot of positive feedback about my blog and my written series "Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Happiness." I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has sent me these positive emails. Honestly, sometimes those emails are what keeps me going. Thanks!

Episode 4: Girl of My Dreams

2008-02-18T09:10:00.000-08:00

Over the next few weeks, I tried to steer clear of Dustin. Our relationship had become strained since the incident. When we did happen to be in the same room, we exchanged pleasantries, but nothing more. He refused to apologize according to Jack who apparently tried to get him to do so. Also, Jack told me that Dustin still did not think that he had done anything wrong. Other than that, everything was still going great.

John and Tiffany were still seeing each other which meant that I had a roommate every weekend and sometimes once during the week when he came into town. I did not mind though; John was always welcome to crash at my place. My relationship with Katie seemed to get more serious with each passing day. The new relationship excitement had worn off, but other than that, I was still crazy about her.

It was Friday night at ten after nine when Joel, Katie, John, Tiffany, Brian, and Lauren exited the movie theater, heading toward their cars in the parking lot.

“That was a good movie,” said Lauren.

“Yeah,” said Katie. “I really liked it.”

“Does anyone want to call Jack and see where he and Dustin are?” asked Brian.

Jack and Dustin had been going out without the rest of us lately seeing as how they were single and the rest of us were not. The rift between Dustin and myself played a little part in that too.

“I think we will pass on that,” answered Joel, referring to Katie and himself.

“Oh yeah,” said Brian. “I forgot about that. He has been getting on my nerves more and more as of late too. I guess the only reason I haven’t said anything to him is because I have to live with him.”

“Fair enough,” responded John.

When the six of them had reached their cars, Joel, Katie, John, and Tiffany stopped by Joel’s Charger and Brian and Lauren stopped beside Brian’s Mustang to discuss their plans for the rest of the evening.

“What is everyone going to do?” asked Brian.

“I was wanting to go downtown,” answered Lauren.

“I am kind of hungry,” said Tiffany.

“As usual,” said John, who immediately turned and moved away from Tiffany to try and dodge her slap, however, she caught him in the middle of his back. The result was a loud thud. John just laughed as he shuffled away from Tiffany to avoid another hit.

“Me too,” said Joel, looking back over at Brian and Lauren. “You guys interested?”

Brian shook his head. “I think we are going to head downtown, but I don’t want you guys to think that we are blowing you off to hang out with Dustin or anything.”

“It’s cool,” said Joel. “We don’t think that at all.”

“Ok, good,” said Lauren.

And with that, Brian and Lauren said their goodbyes and left in Brian’s Mustang.

“Stratler’s?” asked John, looking around at his three companions.

Everyone nodded in approval of the question and piled into Joel’s Charger. Turning out of the movie theater parking lot, they drove off in the opposite direction of Brian and Lauren. The theater was not far from Stratler’s as it took them only five minutes to arrive at the bar.

Everything was going fine while we ate, but near the end of our meal, things took a weird twist. It came out of nowhere and hit me like a ton of bricks. Actually, I’m still not sure what got into Katie.

“-so needless to say, Stacy and I were pretty embarrassed,” said Joel with a laugh, but quickly noticed that Katie was not laughing along with everyone else.

“What is wrong?” asked Joel.

“Nothing,” replied Katie.

“It doesn’t look like nothing.”

“Do you have feelings for Stacy?” asked Katie bluntly, catching Joel off guard.

John’s eyes got wide as he turned and look at Joel.

“No,” answered Joel... At least not anymore I don’t.

“Well the way you talk about her says otherwise,” retorted Katie.

“I have known her since elementary school,” said Joel. “She is my best friend. Of course I talk about her like I am fond of her.”

“You always have to be a smartass, don’t you?” asked Katie angrily.

“I’m not being a smartass, Katie,” replied Joel. “What is wrong with you? Why are you acting crazy?” And that was definitely not the right thing to say at that point, not by a long shot.

Katie stood and grabbed her coat, threw it over her arm, and said, “I am leaving.”

“Come on, Katie,” said Joel. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Well, it sure sounded like you did,” said Katie, making a move for the door.

“How are you going to get home?” asked Joel.

“I’ll take a cab,” said Katie as she stormed out of Stratler’s.

Joel immediately stood and followed her out of the bar and down the street. “Katie, wait a minute,” he said, trying to catch up to her.

Katie stopped at the edge of the sidewalk and leaned forward with an arm stretched out as a cab rode by. The cab did not stop, giving Joel time to catch up to her.

“Will you just wait a minute?” asked Joel.

“No, Joel. I am going home,” replied Katie, continuing to try and hail a cab. Finally, she was able to successfully call attention to one, which pulled over in front of her.

“Katie,” asked Joel, “can’t we talk about this?”

“Just go back inside and reminisce about Stacy,” said Katie. “That is obviously what you want to do, isn’t it?”

Joel looked around as he shook his head, obviously irritated by Katie’s remark. “Whatever,” he said, giving up on stating his case. “Just go.”

And with that, Katie got in the cab. Joel stood there, watching it drive away and when it was out of sight, he turned and walked back to Stratler’s where he returned to the table where John and Tiffany awaited.

“No luck?” asked John.

Joel shook his head. “Are you guys ready to go?”

“Yeah,” said John, nodding.

When we left Stratler’s, I took John and Tiffany back to her apartment and dropped them off. After refusing a request to watch a movie, I headed home. I tried calling Katie, but I was unsuccessful. What set her off like that? I know I should not have said she was acting crazy, but she was mad before that. The more I think I understand women, the more it is apparent that I do not.

I was not tired when I got home so I retrieved a beer from the fridge and popped in one of my favorite DVD’s. I could barely focus on the movie as I sat there trying to figure out what I had done to make Katie so mad, but the more I thought about it, the more frustrated I became with the whole situation.

Eventually, I started to nod off to sleep while laying on my couch, watching the movie I had picked out. It was almost two in the morning when someone knocked on my door. I was startled as I sat up, wondering who it could be. John was staying at Tiffany’s, so I knew that it was not him.

After unlocking the deadbolt, Joel turned the knob and pulled the door open. Much to his bewilderment, Stacy stood in front of him.

“Stacy?” he asked, confused as to why she was knocking on his door at two in the morning.

“Hey Joel,” replied Stacy. “Can I come in?”

“Of course,” said Joel, sliding to his left to let Stacy enter his apartment. What could she be doing here so late?

When Stacy had entered the apartment and Joel had closed the door behind her, Stacy turned to face Joel. “There is something I need to tell you, Joel,” she said, taking a step toward him. She looked up into Joel’s eyes; her own eyes were filled with passion. I almost forgot how beautiful those eyes were.

All of Joel’s feelings for Stacy were beginning to resurface. It was as if they were a freight train and he could hear them barreling toward him. Before he could say anything, Stacy pressed her lips against his and kissed him. Joel’s eyes closed immediately as his emotions surged through him. I cannot believe that this is actually happening!

When Stacy finally relinquished the kiss, she slowly moved her head beside Joel’s and whispered, “I love you,” in his ear.

Joel’s heart leapt as he heard the words. He smiled from ear to ear as he said, “I love you too, Stacy. “I always have.” Finally! I don’t have to hide it anymore, and what’s even better is that she feels the same way! Is this real?

The rest of the night was a blur as we sat on the couch entwined in each other’s arms, watching movies. It was perfect.

As the night wore on, Joel and Stacy eventually began to grow tired. Stacy fell asleep first, resting her head on Joel’s shoulder and soon after he began to doze off as well. His eyes slid shut as his head fell forward. He jerked his head back up as his eyes shot open. For some odd reason, he felt as if he did not want to fall asleep. The last thing he remembered was looking at the digital clock on his cable box, which read 5:48, before he finally succumbed to sleep.

After what seemed like only moments, Joel opened his eyes to find himself laying on his couch alone. He looked around his living room, but Stacy was nowhere to be found. He got up and walked into his bedroom, but she was not in there either. The bathroom door was open as it was empty. Confused, Joel returned to his living room and examined the front door. The deadbolt was locked.

Joel ran his fingers through his hair as he stared at the deadbolt. “It can only be locked from the inside,” he muttered to himself.

Joel walked back over to his couch and sat down. After a brief moment of pondering, it finally hit him. He looked at the clock again, which read 3:04. Joel slumped down on his couch and stared blankly at the floor. One thought echoed in his head as he sat there, heartbroken.

It was a dream.

Sports news

2008-02-14T13:20:00.000-08:00

NFL Taping Scandal

When you hear New England Patriots, what do you think of? Champions? Dynasty? Integrity? Well, after today your opinion might change. Do you want to know what I think of when hear New England Patriots? Cheaters.

It has come out that the Patriots have been taping other teams’ defensive signals since Bill Belichick came to New England in 2000. Belichick even said that he believed that the taping was legal. Come on Bill, you mean to tell me that you thought secretly taping another team’s defensive signals was legal? Give it up, we are not stupid. Only Patriot fans in denial will believe that one.

I want to know what the NFL will do to their beloved Patriot, if anything at all.

Clemens vs. McNamee

After yesterday’s Congressional hearings, I do not know who to believe. Both Clemens and McNamee were both made to look like liars yesterday. So as far as I am concerned, I do not believe either of them. However, I do believe the man whose testimony had the biggest impact on the hearing...and he was not even there! That man? Andy Pettitte

Pettite said, in his meeting with Congress, that he believes in a higher power that he will one day have to answer to and because of that, he would not lie. After which, he admitted to using HGH again in 2004 in addition to using it in 2002. He also unveiled that he and Roger Clemens had talked about using HGH on several occasions. Of course, Clemens denied this, saying that Pettitte misconstrued what he had said. Once again, Roger, we are not stupid.

All I know is that this will be a long drawn out process, but eventually, the truth will come out.

Spring Training

Pitchers and catchers reported to Spring Training today all across Major League Baseball. This means only one thing: baseball season is almost here! As a lifelong baseball, I cannot wait to get another season of our national pastime underway. Pretty soon, position players will be reporting, with Spring Training games start on Tuesday, February 26th.

The Writers' Strike is over!

2008-02-12T21:27:00.000-08:00

Well, the writers have voted and have decided to end the strike and return to work as early as Wednesday. Well, whoopteedo! We are supposed to be excited about shortened seasons of our favorite shows because of the greed of the writers? Don't get me wrong, I will be glad to have some new TV to watch, but this is a slap in the face to all the fans of the shows.

Some shows will not come back with new shows until next fall. 24 will only be a half season which means that fans will have to wait until January 2009 for a whole season: almost a whole year! This was supposed to be Scrubs' last season with a big finale and what do they get? 10 episodes MAYBE, counting the four new episodes before Christmas. Not only that, but the big wigs aren't even sure if these episodes will be aired! It is possible that it will go straight to DVD! How is that right? If I were an actor on that show, I would be furious to think that I was on a hit show for six successful seasons only to be screwed over in the seventh and final season.

Unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done unless we all stop watching TV, but that isn't going to happen. If only... I just hope that it was worth it to get an extra buck.

Episode 3: Cloud Nine

2008-02-11T09:04:00.000-08:00

Everything is going great. I have been dating Katie for about two weeks now and I could not be happier. She is an amazing girl. Not only do we have almost everything in common, but my friends love her too. Also, with my mind not preoccupied on my feelings for Stacy, I can actually hang out with her now without making myself suffer. I am on cloud nine.

John has also been in town regularly as of late. Remember the girl that was smiling at him from across the bar? Her name is Tiffany and the two of them have been seeing each other for two weeks as well. He somehow scheduled his classes this semester so that he has Tuesdays and Thursdays off, which is something that I was never able to figure out while I was in school. Anyway, he comes into town on the weekends and usually once a week on Wednesdays.

So, to recap: I have a great girlfriend, my friendship with Stacy is just that, a friendship, and I get to see my best friend all the time now. Life is good.

It was Tuesday evening, fifteen minutes before six, as Joel, John, Brian, and Jack sat at their usual table in Stratler’s Bar, awaiting the arrival of their friends. Joel, Jack, and Brian were having a conversation about their jobs as John sat with them sending and receiving text messages on his cell phone.

Joel looked over at John with a puzzled look, looked down at his phone, and then back up at him. “Dude, you are going to see her in like five minutes,” he said. “Why are you texting her?”

“Shut up,” replied John.

“I am just saying,” said Joel. “Do you have to talk to her every second?”

“Yes,” answered John, not looking up from his phone.

“Don’t say more than two words in response,” said Joel sarcastically. “I wouldn’t want you to pop a blood vessel in your brain or anything.”

“Shut up.”

“By the way, thanks for letting us sit with you while we are being good friends and carrying on a conversation with the people we are actually with,” said Joel cynically.

“Ass,” replied John curtly.

“Intelligent conversation on your part. It is always such a pleasure talking to you,” said Joel, turning his attention back to Jack and Brian as John ignored him and continued to text.

As the three of them continued their conversation about work, Joel glanced over at the bar and quickly did a double take. “Well, well, well,” he said.

“What is it?” asked Brian.

“Look whose here,” replied Joel, motioning toward the bar.

Jack, Brian, and even John looked over at a blonde woman who was sitting at the bar with two other women.

The blonde is my ex, Linda. We dated for a while a few months ago. Saying that it didn’t end well would be an extreme understatement.

“Linda?” asked Jack rhetorically. He then turned his attention back to Joel and asked, “I thought you got Stratler’s in the break-up?”

“I did,” responded Joel, not taking his eyes off of Linda while pushing his chair back.

“What are you going to do?” asked Brian.

“Run her out of here,” said Joel, standing and starting toward the bar.

John laughed as he finally relinquished his attention from his cell phone and turned to watch Joel. “This should be interesting.”

I’m still not sure what possessed me to approach Linda like that. Maybe it was the high from being on cloud nine. All I know is the before I knew it, and without thinking about it, I was out of my chair and walking toward her.

Joel walked over to the bar where Linda was sitting and propped his left elbow on the bar as he leaned against it while resting his right hand on his hip. It was not long until Linda noticed him as he was uncomfortably close to her.

Linda turned to see that it was Joel and scowled at him. “Hello, Joel,” she said brusquely.

“What are you doing here, Linda?” asked Joel.

“Well,” said Linda, looking down at her martini and back up at Joel before continuing, “it looks like I am having a drink with my friends.”

“Yeah,” said Joel, “in my bar.”

“Last time I checked, you don’t own Stratler’s, Joel,” responded Linda snidely.

“We agreed that I got Stratler’s, Linda,” said Joel. “You got the Ale House, remember?”

“Whatever,” said Linda, while rolling her eyes. “We aren’t leaving.”

“Ok,” said Joel, nodding his head as he looked around while taking in a deep breath. “Then I will just have to follow you around until you leave.”

“Are you really going to be that immature?” asked Linda.

“If that is what it takes to get you out of Stratler’s,” replied Joel, smiling slyly, “then, yes.”

Linda sighed in annoyance while looking at ther friends and once again rolling her eyes. “Fine,” she said angrily, “we will go.”

“It was a pelasure as always, Linda,” said Joel smugly, walking back toward his table.

“Wish I could say the same,” mumbled Linda under her breath.

Wow! That was awesome! I never do anything like that. That is something that you see on TV or read in a book, but never anything you do in real life. Incredible! I am loving cloud nine.

When Joel reached the table in which his friends sat, he returned to his seat and watched triumphantly as Linda and her friends paid their tabs and exited Stratler’s.

“Nice,” said John proudly.

“How did you do that?” asked Brian.

“I threatened to follow her around until she left,” responded Joel, much to the delight of his friends who laughed at his response.

Once the excitement had settled , the four of them returned to their conversation and their drinks. Shortly thereafter, Dustin and Lauren arrived, then, within, minutes of each other, Katie, Tiffany, and Stacy and Ron walked into Stratler’s and joined their friends.

As I sat there surrounded by my friends with Katie at my side, everything felt right with the world. I could not believe how quickly I had forgotten about Stacy in a romantic sense and how hard I was falling for Katie. I could tell that she felt the same by the way she would watch me from the corner of her eye.

She didn’t think that I noticed, but I did, mainly because I was doing the exact same thing. Aren’t the beginnings of relationships great? I just love that new excitement that comes along with it. Nothing could bring me down from cloud nine. Well, at least I thought nothing could especially not one of my best friends.

It happened a little over an hour anf a half after Katie and Tiffany had arrived at Stratler’s when Jack and I went to the bar to get another round of drinks for everyone. Brian, Lauren, and Ron had already left, leaving Jack, John, Stacy, Katie, Tiffany, Dustin, and myself at Stratler’s.

As Jack and I waited for Mike, the bartender, to bring us our drinks, John came over to where we were followed closely by Stacy.

“Dude,” said John, nudging Joel. “Dustin is hitting on Katie.”

“Do what now?” asked Joel, turning around.

“Yeah, he did,” said Stacy. “I heard it too.”

An angry look came over Joel’s face as he started toward the table. However, Jack stopped him by placing his hand on Joel’s shoulder before he could take more than two strides away from the bar.

“Hold on man,” said Jack. “What are you going to do?”

“I’ll tell you what I’d like to do,” said Joel angrily, then stopping himself. “I am tired of him doing stuff like this.”

“You know how he is,” said Jack, trying to calm Joel down. “He does this kind of stuff to me all the time and it makes me mad too. You just have to let it go.”

“On more than one occasion, I have been talking to a girl when we go out and he just comes over and cuts me off in mid-sentence by literally getting in the middle of us,” said Joel, seemingly growing angrier by the second. “Both times that happened, I was ready to say something to him, but you would tell me what you just did: ‘That is just how he is, it makes me mad too, just let it go.’ Well, I am not going to let it go this time, Jack. You may not want to stand up to him, but I sure as hell will.”

John and Stacy watched on silently, nodding in agreement as Joel stated his case to Jack.

“Dude, come on,” said Jack. “Don’t make a big deal about this.”

“It is a big deal, Jack!” argued Joel, practically yelling at this point. “He is hitting on my girlfriend. Besides, if no one ever says anything to him, then he will just keep doing stuff like this.”

“We are all friends here, Joel,” said Jack. “He wouldn’t do anything like that intentionally.”

“Friends don’t do that and obviously he would do something like this intentionally because he just did it,” said Joel sternly, turning back toward the table.

It was at that time that Kaite looked over at Joel with a disgusted look on her face. Joel saw this and motioned for her to come over. As she stood and walked over to where he was, Joel asked Jack, John, and Stacy if he could talk to her alone. The three of them agreed and returned to the table.

When Katie reached the bar, Joel asked, “Did Dustin say something to you?”

“Yeah,” responded Katie.

“What did he say?”

“He said that I should be with a guy like him instead of you and told me to call him if it didn’t work out between you and me,” said Katie, obviously offended by Dustin’s actions. Joel did not respond to Katie’s answer. Instead he turned and marched angrily toward the table.

Upon arriving at the table, Joel stood across from Dustin and asked, “What do you think you are doing?”

“What are you talking about?” asked Dustin, a look of confusion came over his face.

“You know exactly what I am talking about,” said Joel, almost shouting. “Do you really think it is ok to hit on my girlfriend?”

“I didn’t hit on your girlfriend,” said Dustin defensively.

“Oh, so you didn’t say that if it doesn’t work out between me and her that she should call you?” asked Joel. “You didn’t say that she should be with a guy like you instead of me?”

“No,” responded Dustin, offended by the accusations.

“You are unbelievable!” shouted Joel.

“You were obviously lied to,” said Dustin smugly.

“Yeah, I have been lied to,” said Joel calmly, “by you. Because three people would not all fabricate the same exact story.”

“Man, forget this,” said Dustin, standing and grabbing his coat. “I’m leaving.”

“That’s what I thought,” said Joel. “Deny it til the end and run away like you always do. And by the way, don’t talk to Katie anymore.”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” responded Dustin angrily. He then put on his coat and left Stratler’s.

There it was, a line drawn in the sand between Dustin and myself. Just when everything was going great, this had to happen. It makes me wonder what goes through people’s minds. What was he thinking? He had to of known that Katie would tell me. The thing that bothered me the most about the whole situation was that he is supposed to be one of my best friends.

It really got me thinking and the only thing that kept looping through my mind was: It is funny what jealous people will do to try and bring you down isn’t it?

Dale Jr. is back!

2008-02-10T12:19:00.000-08:00

With Dale Earnhardt Jr's win at the Budweiser Shootout last night, he reclaims his spot amongst the elite drivers in NASCAR. I, myself, cannot remember the last time that I saw Junior that happy on the race track, before or after, a race. Over the last few years, the only time he was interviewed after races was when he did manage to actually win a race, finish in the top ten and sometimes, very rarely, in the top five, or after his DEI engine had blown up and he was sitting in the garage.

Last night in Daytona, that all changed.

Even though this race does not count toward the point standings, it was definitely a win that Junior needed. This was his first win since early 2006, almost two years ago and I do not think that it will be his last win of 2008. Now that he does not have the pressure all around him, for example, worrying about his future, or making a new deal with DEI, or even fighting his step-mother for majority control of the company that his father built for him, he can finally get back to simply driving.

Another thing that Junior got last night, that he so desperately needed, was a congratulations from his owner AT THE TRACK. In fact, he had not even gotten out of his race car when Rick Hendrick came over to congratulate him on his victory. Support from his owner is something that Dale Jr. has not received in recent years, most notably last year.

Do not be surprised if Junior is in contention for the win every single race in 2008. Granted, complications will come, but it will be nothing like the past few years when he was with DEI. With his new team, Hendrick Motor Sports, Dale Jr. will be running at the front of the pack along with his new teammates, Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson, who have been doing so for years. Who knows, maybe he will even win a few poles this year.

All in all, expect to see a different Dale Earnhardt Jr. in 2008. One who will be driving with confidence and a car that does not have an engine that is a ticking time bomb. It will be nice to see what he can do with an organization, and an owner, that will provide him with the cars and support that he needs. As a Dale Earnhardt Jr. fan, I have never been more excited about the start of a NASCAR season.

Writers Strike

2008-02-08T22:42:00.000-08:00

The writers are meeting tomorrow to go over the new deal that has been proposed to them. If I could say one thing to the writers it would be: Please...PLEASE except the deal! I am tired of watching reruns! I want to see some new episodes of all my favorite shows that don't come on anymore because you are on strike!

Ok, I'm done. I just needed to get that out. But seriously, I know I can't be the only one that is sick and tired of this. The only people that this whole thing is hurting are the fans. Swallow your pride and get back to work! Don't you agree?

Novel Number 2 and Episode 3

2008-02-07T22:09:00.000-08:00

For a few weeks now, I have had an itch to start working on my second novel which, by the way, is a direct sequel to my forst novel. I have big things planned for the series and the more I think about it, the more I want to continue the story. So, after like three weeks of ideas coming and going, I have finally decided to scratch that itch. This is exciting news for me as I embark on another adventure with my characters so I wanted to share the big news.

For those of you who are fans of my written series, don't fret! I will still be writing and posting my written series. Episode 3 is right on track. In fact, all I need to do is put the finishing touches on it and it will be ready to post on Monday. Anyway, that is what is going on with my writing at the moment. I'm out of here, peace!

Clemens vs. McNamee

2008-02-06T17:51:00.000-08:00

Every since the Mitchell Report came out, Roger Clemens has aggressively denied the allegations that he used performance enhancers during the latter parts of his career. However, McNamee has done nothing but accuse Clemens of using performance enhancers. Well, yesterday the two of them took their ongoing argument in front of Congress. Once again, this time under oath, Clemens refused the notion that he used steroids while McNamee insisted that he did.

Uh oh! Somebody committed perjury yesterday.

The very brief history of steroid hearings tells us that the player(Bonds) was lying under oath. Granted, that is only one case and Bonds is a compeltely different person than Clemens, but that is the only other occurance that people can look to to compare. Now, I'm not calling Clemens a liar, nor am I calling McNamee one either. I am just pointing out the simple fact that one of them did indeed lie yesterday.

Today, the mudslinging continued as a story has been released stating that McNamee has given vials, syringes, and gauze pads to investigators. I am looking forward to seeing what Clemens has to say when he returns to Capitol Hill tomorrow to discuss the evidence presented by McNamee.

Personally, I hope that it evetually comes out that Clemens did not take steroids. Baseball has a huge cloud looming over it in regards to the whole steroid issue and if it is proven that one of the pitchers ever to play the game used steroids, it would be devastating.

Also, if it is proven that Clemens did not use performance enhancers, the validity of the Mitchell Report will have to be brought into question. In all honesty, I have questioned the validity of the report since I found out the Mitchell is on the board of the directors for the Boston Red Sox and that no players from that organization were named when it was released. Do you really expect me to believe that every single team had players use performance enhancing drugs except the Red Sox. That one is a little hard to swallow.

Back to Clemens and McNamee, the truth WILL eventually come out. Only time will tell.

Episode 2: Alone in a Bar

2008-02-04T09:13:00.000-08:00

I never thought that I would be this miserable over a woman. It has been three days and I cannot shake off this wretched feeling. What is wrong with me? I even took a sick day today so I could have a three day weekend. Needless to say, I have skipped out on our nightly trip to Stratler’s the past three days. I need something to snap me out of this funk. It was around two o’clock that Friday afternoon when I finally got the pick-me-up that would bring me back from the brink of despair.

Joel laid on the couch in the living room of his one bedroom apartment wearing a tattered white tee shirt and a pair of gray sweat pants; his brown hair was disheveled from laying down. He held a beer can in his left hand which was resting on his stomach as he held the remote with his right hand, aimlessly flipping through the channels on his television.

Moments after Joel settled on a rerun of Full House, he was startled by a pounding on his door. Nearly spilling his beer, he jolted up from his couch and set the can down on his coffee table.

"Who could that be?" wondered Joel, lethargically pacing toward the door. "Everyone is at work."

The pounding came again a few seconds later.

"I’m coming," shouted Joel, "don’t break down my door! Geez."

When Joel reached the wooden door, he unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door. When he saw who was standing there, he could not believe his eyes. A look of surprise came over his face as he gazed at his visitor.

"John?" asked Joel, a confused look shortly followed the look of surprise.

The blonde man standing at the door, who was as tall as Joel, smiled at the confusion of his friend. "Who did you expect? Stacy?" asked John, a sly smile crept across his face.

That’s John, my college roommate. Although I graduated and moved to Charlotte, we stayed close. He visits from time to time, but usually not unannounced.

"Funny," said Joel facetiously. "Come on in."

"It’s about time. I thought I’d be out there all day," said John, grabbing his bag and walking through the door. As he entered the apartment, he looked Joel up and down. "You look like hell."

"Thanks," responded Joel, following John past the kitchen and dining area of his apartment and into the living room. "Did you come all the way up here just to tell me that?"

"Actually, yeah, but more importantly to pull you out of your depression," responded John proudly. "When I heard how pathetic you sounded on the phone, I decided to come up here and get you back on your feet."

Joel chuckled as John finished talking. "Be careful, buddy," he said, "you almost sound like you care."

"My bad," replied John, unzipping his bag. "You know what helps me get over a girl?"

"What’s that?"

"A club filled with hot girls and this," replied John, reaching into his bag and pulling out a bottle of tequila. "Got any shot glasses?"

"Actually," said Joel, pausing briefly in thought, "that doesn’t sound bad at all. I like where your head’s at. I’ll get my shot glasses."

* * *

Three and a half hours later, the elevator bell rang as the five lit up above the button to the right of the steel doors. The two doors then slid apart allowing Jack and Dustin to exit the elevator. The two of them turned left, heading for Joel’s door. As the duo approached his door, they heard loud music. Both men looked at each other with a look of confusion on their faces.

"He must be feeling better," said Jack.

"Finally," said Dustin. "Being around him like that is worse than being around Brian and Lauren when they are all lovey-dovey. It makes me sick."

"Jealous much?" asked Jack.

"Of them? No!" replied Dustin, disgusted at the thought. "I just don’t want them to do it in front of me, or in my apartment."

"Aren’t the two of you roommates?" asked Jack.

"Yeah, so?" responded Dustin, obviously clueless at the point that Jack was trying to make. "What of it?"

"So, it’s his apartment too."

"Yeah, yeah," responded Dustin, rolling his eyes.

When the two men reached the do, Jack knocked, but there was no answer. All that could be heard was the loud music that was booming through the walls. Jack tried again, pounding on the door furiously. Still nothing. Finally, Dustin tried turning the doorknob. Sure enough, the apartment was unlocked.

When Jack and Dustin entered the apartment, they found Joel and John sitting on the living room couch playing video games. Sitting on the coffee table in front of them was an unopened bottle of tequila, two shot glasses, and an empty pizza box. Looking up from his television, Joel noticed his two friends and reached for a remote and turned the music down.

What? You expected us to be passed out drunk? We have more sense than that. We decided to wait for Jack and Dustin to get there before we started pregaming to go out. It would just be the four of us tonight seeing as how Brian, Lauren, Stacy, and Ron were going out on a double date. I am kind of glad they decided to have a date night. If I was going to get over Stacy, I didn’t need her around to get in the way of it.

"Hey guys," said Joel, placing the remote back on the coffee table and returning to his game. "There is beer in the fridge or if you want to join John and myself for some shots, there are shot glasses in the cabinets over the sink."

Both men went directly to the kitchen and opened the cabinet above the sink to retrieve two shot glasses. When they returned to the living room, John had opened the bottle of tequila and filled his and Joel’s glasses. He then filled Jack’s and Dustin’s glasses and the four of them toasted a took a shot.

And so, our night began. We stayed at my place until abut 10, then we gelled our hair and put on our button down, collared shirts. We left my apartment and ventured downtown via a cab. Once downtown, the taxi dropped us off on a street where two bars stood side-by-side directly across the street from a club we often frequented.

The four men piled out of the cab and entered one of the two bars, called The Dirty Sanchez. Upon entering, the bar stood directly across from the front door on the back wall. The wooden counter formed a giant square as the three bartenders worked from within the middle. The two men and the woman looked like fisherman trapped in a boat being swarmed by sharks as The Dirty Sanchez was already crowded when Joel and his friends arrived.

The four men searched out an unattended spot at the bar and waded their way through the sea of people, making their way toward it. They arrived and claimed the spot at the bar, just beating a group of three men to it. Jack flagged down the bartender and ordered four beers. Even after they had received their beers, the four men held their position at the bar.

Looking out over the people, John nudged Joel with his elbow. "How about those girls over there?" he asked, pointing toward two girls sitting at a table across the bar. Joel shrugged in disapproval and John continued his search as Jack and Dustin made their way over to two girls and struck up a conversation.

In mid-search, John stopped and looked at Joel with a wary look. "You aren’t doing that thing where you see Stacy everywhere are you?"

"Dude, no. Not at all," responded Joel.

"Ok, just making sure."

But I was doing it. I couldn’t look at another girl without seeing Stacy’s face. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I get past her? It’s really starting to make me mad.

"What about them?" asked John, pointing to two different girls. Joel shook his head at the proposal. John looked over at his friend with a grimace on his face. "You aren’t one of those...you know, are you?"

Joel rolled his eyes and looked at John sternly. "Very funny."

"Ok, well that girl across the bar is smiling at me so I am going to go talk to her," said John. "You gonna be ok over here by yourself?"

"Yeah, I’ll be fine."

Reluctantly, John left Joel and made his way around the bar to the girl he had mentioned. Joel watched him as he started to talk to her. John then looked over at Joel and winked, prompting Joel to chuckle and shake his head.

As I looked around the bar and watched all of my friends talk to girls like it was second nature, I found myself wondering why I could not do the same. It looks easy enough, but I just could not will myself into action. The longer I stood there, the more alone I felt. Now how could that be? How could a person be standing in the middle of a crowded bar and feel completely alone? I had no idea, but that’s how I felt...alone.

As Joel pined over his beer, a raven-haired beauty made her way to the bar behind him. Upon reaching Joel, she tapped him on the shoulder. Joel turned to gaze into her emerald-colored eyes.

"I noticed that your friends left you standing here alone. Need some company?" asked the woman, smiling warmly.

Joel hesitated for a second, almost getting lost in the woman’s eyes, but then quickly snapped out of it. "Yes," he said, smiling back at the girl.

"My name is Katie," said the woman, sticking her hand out.

"It’s nice to meet you, Katie," said Joel, shaking Katie’s hand. "I’m Joel."

And for the first time I thought, Stacy who?

Giant Upset

2008-02-03T20:52:00.000-08:00

Many people may be shocked that the Giants won the Super Bowl, but I'm not. Surprised, yes, but not shocked. The Giants proved themselves in this years playoffs and topped it off by knocking off the undefeated Patriots. All I heard the past 2 weeks was how bad the Patriots were going to beat the Giants, but the Giants had other ideas. I guess it is true what they say: cheaters don't win.

In the end, just like Plaxico Burress said and Tom Brady denied, the Giants defense held the Patriots to 14 points. Not only did the defense step up huge, but Eli Manning was remarkable. On football's biggest stage, Eli drove his team down the field in the last two and a half minutes and scored in one of the gutsiest performances I have seen in a long time.

Also, Randy Moss was crucified a few years ago for walking off the field before the time ran out at the end of a game when he was with the Vikings. I want to know what will be said about Bill Belichick doing the same in the Super Bowl in what can only be described as a classless act on his part.

All that aside, tonight it's about the New York Giants, Super Bowl XLII Champions.

Episode 2 sneak preview

2008-02-01T11:00:00.000-08:00

I have completed episode 2 of Life, Love, and the Pusuit of Happiness. I will be posting it on monday during the day just as I did episode 1. To hold you over til then, I have decided to post a sneak preview today. Here it goes...

I never thought that I would be this miserable over a woman. It has been three days and I cannot shake off this wretched feeling. What is wrong with me? I even took a sick day today so I could have a three day weekend. Needless to say, I have skipped out on our nightly trip to Stratler’s the past three days. I need something to snap me out of this funk. It was around two o’clock that Friday afternoon when I finally got the pick-me-up that would bring me back from the brink of despair.

Joel laid on the couch in the living room of his one bedroom apartment wearing a tattered white tee shirt and a pair of gray sweat pants; his brown hair was disheveled from laying down. He held a beer can in his left hand which was resting on his stomach as he held the remote with his right hand, aimlessly flipping through the channels on his television.

Moments after Joel settled on a rerun of Full House, he was startled by a pounding on his door. Nearly spilling his beer, he jolted up from his couch and set the can down on his coffee table.

"Who could that be?" wondered Joel, lethargically pacing toward the door. "Everyone is at work."

The pounding came again a few seconds later.

"I’m coming," shouted Joel, "don’t break down my door! Geez."

When Joel reached the wooden door, he unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door. When he saw who was standing there, he could not believe his eyes. A look of surprise came over his face as he gazed at his visitor.

That is all I can show you for now. I will post the complete episode on Monday.

Presidental Race

2008-01-30T09:35:00.000-08:00

I saw today that John Edwards has dropped out of the Democratic race, making it a three person race for the Democrats: Clinton vs. Obama vs. Clinton. Wait, which Clinton is running again? Over in the GOP race, McCain keeps somehow winning primaries. Someone is going to have to explain that one to me because it is beyond me how he keeps winning. So, it looks as if the three front runners are a woman(Clinton), a muslim(Obama), and a liberal(McCain). Sounds like the start of a bad political joke...

Episode 2 details

2008-01-29T17:54:00.000-08:00

Well, I have gotten a lot of positive feedback about episode one of Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Happiness. The second episode is in the works and will be posted next week. I will more than likely post a sneak preview toward the end of this week. I have been advertising my series on various site, but I need help. Start spreading the word! Thanks!

Episode 1: Just Tell Her

2008-01-28T08:30:00.000-08:00

What if you loved someone, but you could never tell them how you feel? What if that person was one of your best friends and you saw them everyday? What if you had to stand by and watch that person love someone else? What if you knew that no one else could make you feel the way that person makes you feel? How long do I have to suffer? These are the questions I ask myself everyday. My name is Joel, and this is my story...

Stratler’s Bar sat on the outskirts of downtown Charlotte, NC. The building was thirty-two hundred square feet and sat unattached to its surrounding counterparts. At first look, the bleak, brick building would not draw a second glance, but when the neon open sign was lit up, Stratler’s was sure to be buzzing with action.

Inside the busy bar, two tall, twenty-four year old men sat at the end of two conjoined tables which were surrounded by eight chairs; both men had a half-empty beer sitting in front of them. One of the two men, who sat at the head of the table, wore a backwards St. Louis Cardinals baseball cap and a black tee shirt with a white long sleeve undershirt. The other man had his brown hair gelled and wore a dark blue polo shirt.

Stratler’s Bar was nothing special. A little more than a hole in the wall, but we loved it anyway. My friends and I met there pretty much every night to decompress over drinks after a long day of work. That’s my friend Jack and myself. I’m the one in the Cardinals hat. The clock just hit six as we sit over our first beer, watching college basketball on one of the high definition televisions around the bar.

"I just talked to Brian. They should be here soon," said Jack, taking a sip of his beer, then setting the beverage back down on the square coaster in front of him.

"Cool," responded Joel, pushing his chair back and standing. "You need another one?"

"Yeah," answered Jack, pulling a filled money clip out of his pocket, "here."

"It’s cool," said Joel, waving him off and starting toward the bar. "I’ve got this round."

Joel walks over to the bar and leans against it, waiting for the bartender to serve him. He continued to watch the basketball game while waiting for the stocky bartender to make his way down the bar to him. There were only two other people at the bar waiting for service, so Joel did not have to wait long.

"Two more for ya, Joel?" asked the bartender, walking toward Joel.

"Yes sir, Mike," replied Joel.

"Here ya go," said Mike, retrieving two beers from the cooler behind the bar and putting them down on the bar in front of Joel.

"Thanks," said Joel. He picked up the two longneck bottles and carried them back to the table, putting one down in front of Jack.

"Thanks man," said Jack, picking up the beer and taking a sip. "So, Stacy should be here soon, right?"

Joel shifted his eyes from the television over to Jack, looking at him out of the corner of his eye without moving his head. "I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t bring that up anymore," said Joel in a stern tone, furrowing his brow while raising one of his eyebrows.

Jack took another sip of his beer and set it down on the table. "I just see how much it tears you up inside," replied Jack, pausing briefly for a rebuttal from Joel, then continuing when there was none. "You should just go for it. Tell her how you feel."

"It’s not that easy," replied Joel softly, picking at the corner of the label on his beer bottle.

"Sure it is," said Jack, trying to reassure Joel.

"Not when she is with Ron."

"Fair enough. Keep being miserable then," said Jack, giving up his crusade.

"Gee, thanks buddy," replied Joel, his lips curled resulting in a half smile.

Before the conversation could continue, two men and a woman entered the bar. The first man, who wore an Atalanta Braves hat, was an inch shorter than Joel and Jack-who stood at six foot three-heavyset and tall; his round belly could be seen as his white tee shirt fit snugly around it.
His counterpart was skinny and rather short with spiky, gelled hair. He was dressed in a button-down, red dress shirt. The pretty, slender brunette wore a black dress and was the same height-five foot eight-as the shorter man, which she held hands with. The three of them made their way to the table in which Joel and Jack sat.

That’s Dustin, Brian, and Lauren. If you could not tell from the hand holding, Brian and Lauren are together. They have been together for about a year now and seem to get more serious everyday. It kind of makes me jealous. Don’t get me wrong though, I am one-hundred percent happy for them. Not everyone can find what they have.

When the trio arrived at the table, Joel and Jack stood to greet Dustin and Brian with a handshake and embraced Lauren. After exchanging pleasantries, the three of them sat down at the table with Joel and Jack.

"Who’s thirsty?" asked Dustin, waving a wad of cash in front of his friends that he retrieved from his pocket. "I got paid today. The next round is on me."

That’s Dustin for you, always showing off.

"Grab us one," replied Brian, motioning toward himself and Lauren.

"Alright, that’s two," said Dustin, who then turned his attention to Joel. "What about you, Joel?"

Dustin’s words did not reach Joel, who’s attention was drawn to the door as a beautiful woman walked in. Her long, dirty blonde hair flowed in the short gust of wind that followed her through the door. Joel was immediately engulfed in a trance as he watched the woman.

"Joel?" asked Dustin.

"Forget it," said Jack. "Looks who’s here."

Joel’s four companions joined him in looking at the door. As they looked, the woman shifted her green eyes over to Joel. She smiled and waved as she started walking gracefully toward the table. Joel smiled awkwardly and waved back, almost spilling his beer in the process.

I know, I know. I look like a fourteen year old on his first date, but look at her. Can you blame me? That is Stacy, the girl of my dreams. I have known her since grade school. She is the best friend that I have ever had and the one constant through it all. As you probably already have guessed, I have loved her since the first moment that I saw her, but she has no clue.

I know what you are thinking: just tell her, maybe she feels the same way. Like I told Jack, it’s not that easy. There are a million reasons why I can’t tell her. Besides, I know what she would say: She wouldn't want to mess up our friendship; she sees me as a friend and nothing more; I am like a brother to her. Sorry, I over think everything in situations like this. Anyway, one reason stands out above all the rest.

A blonde man, slightly taller than the five foot seven Stacy, walked in behind her. He caught sight of her and followed her to the table.

And that is the number one reason why I cannot tell Stacy how I feel. That is her boyfriend, Ron. She has been with that loser for a few months now. Obviously, I can’t stand the guy. I’m sure he is a cool guy, but he is the tool that is with my girl. Hmph, I say my girl like I ever had her.

"H-hey Stacy," said Joel, stammering slightly as he stood to embrace the beautiful twenty-three year old woman. Embarrassing I know, but I stammer when I get nervous. Even though I have known the girl for years, I always get nervous around Stacy. "How are you?"

"Good, but I will be better once I get a drink in my hand," replied Stacy.

"I know the feeling," replied Joel, turning his attention to Ron. "Ron, didn’t think you were coming tonight?" he asked, reluctantly shaking his hand. Like I said, I don’t like the guy.

"I got lucky," replied Ron. "I switched shifts with another EMT, but I am still on call."

Joel nodded as he returned to his seat. Stacy and Ron exchanged greetings with their four other friends and joined them at the table.

Yes, I know he saves lives, but I still can’t bring myself to like this guy. Maybe in another life Ron and I would have been good friends, or maybe if he and Stacy weren’t dating. Don’t look down on me. A guy can dream can’t he?

The seven friends sat around the table having drinks and sharing stories from their day as they usually did. An hour later, Ron’s beeper went off. He reached down and pulled it off of his belt and examined it.

"I need to go," said Ron, standing from his seat. He leaned down and kissed Stacy. "See you later, babe." Everyone said their goodbyes to Ron, then he left.

I had seen the two of them kiss before and every time I wished that it was me, but for some reason, this particular kiss struck me the wrong way; I guess it had been eating at me for so long, it finally pushed me too far. It was then that I decided that I was going to tell Stacy how I felt.

"We need to get going too if we are going to be on time for the movie," said Jack, taking the final sip of his current beer.

"I’m going to have to pass," said Stacy. "I’m not really in the mood for a movie tonight."

Sweet! "Yeah, me either," said Joel.

"There’s a shocker," said Dustin, rolling his eyes at Joel.

Jack stood and began to walk to the bar. He paused briefly behind Stacy and mouthed the phrase, "Just tell her" to Joel. Joel nodded in response. Dustin, Brian, and Lauren followed Jack’s lead and the four of them said their goodbyes, paid their tabs, and left.

So there it was, the perfect opportunity for me to confess my love for Stacy, and I was just tipsy enough to go for it.

"Walk me home?" asked Stacy of Joel.

"Sure," responded Joel with a smile.

The two of them finished their drinks, settled their tabs, then left the bar, walking away from downtown.

As we walked, we talked about everything as we usually did. We were open with each other about everything; there were no secrets. However, this conversation had a different feel to it than previous conversations between the two of us. It was almost as if both of us knew what I was about to confess. Excitement and fear surged through me, building as we got closer to her apartment building. When we reached Stacy’s building, which stood three blocks from the building where Jack and I were neighbors. We stopped at the bottom of the stairs leading up to her building’s front doors.

"Thank you for walking me home," said Stacy, embracing Joel.

"Anytime," said Joel, unable to keep himself from smiling. I was so nervous with anticipation.

"What is it?" asked Stacy.

"Nothing," said Joel. Stop grinning like an idiot and just go for it, you clown! "I am just lucky, that’s all." There you go, lead into it. God, her eyes are beautiful.

"Yeah," agreed Stacy, "I know what you mean. Not everyone can have a friendship like ours. I wouldn’t trade it for anything."

It was right then that I knew. As my heart dropped, I came to a harsh realization... I can’t tell her. Which reason was it? Oh yeah, she wouldn't want to mess up our friendship. All I could do was nod, watch her walk up the stairs, and enter her building. The walk home that night was the longest three blocks I had ever walked in my life.

My written series

2008-01-27T13:46:00.000-08:00

Exciting news! I am almost done with the first episode of my written series, which I have decided to call, "Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Happiness." I should be wrapping up the first episode, "Just Tell Her," tonight and I will post it tomorrow, more than likely during the day. It is a little lengthy due to the fact that it is the first episode and I had to give character introductions and descriptions. I don't expect the other episodes to be as long as this one, but who knows. Start spreading the word to everyone you know. I hope that everyone enjoys it. Later!

Realization

2008-01-25T23:10:00.001-08:00

I realized something tonight: If it isn't meant to be then it will not happen. It is a shame that it took me this long to realize this simple fact. Everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason. Every decision that we regret was, in fact, the right decision for us at the time. If it was meant to be the other way, then it would have happened that way, therefore, we should not regret the decisions that we have made in the past. I know that I won't from now on! My example: I went to two different bars tonight and I saw the same beautiful girl at each bar. I wanted to talk to her, but I couldn't bring myself to. I couldn't believe it until I realized that the reason I could not bring myself to talk to her was because it was not meant to be. If it was, then I would have talked to her. It is simply remarkable how it feels that a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. From now on, the "what might have been" thoughts will be no more. I feel liberated!

Series details

2008-01-23T19:56:00.000-08:00

Well, the ideas have been flowing and I have started writing the first episode of my series. I haven't thought of a name yet, but it will come. I hope to have the first episode posted by the end of next week. If not, then it will definetly be posted the first week of February. More details to come!

My big idea

2008-01-22T09:47:00.000-08:00

I think that I finally have an idea of a way to utilize my blog to get my writing career off the ground. I started on a story a while back that I am going to break down into episodes which I am going to post on here; I am definitely going to post one episode a week, but as of right now, I am leaning toward two episodes a week. The first four or five episodes will be an experiment to see if I generate enough interest. After seeing if it is a success or not, I will decide on whether or not to continue the series. Stay tuned for more details...

Unlucky

2008-01-20T20:42:00.000-08:00

Wow, 0 for 2. I couldn't have been more off with my Playoff picks. I knew that the Chargers had an uphill fight, but I thought for sure that the Packers would win, especially after the two missed field goals. I just hope that this won't be the last time that we see Bret Favre. After coming so close to another championship, I'm betting that he will be back next year.

Playoff picks

2008-01-19T15:58:00.000-08:00

I have been looking forward to the AFC and NFC championship games since last Sunday when they were decided. All four teams are looking impressive as of late and tomorrow’s games should not disappoint. I’m sure all football fans have their opinions on how the games will turn out. I know I do, so I am going to try my hand at picking the winners.

When the Chargers and Patriots played in week 2, the Patriots were a well oiled machine, whereas the Chargers were severely disheveled. The players were still getting acquainted with Norv Turner and, likewise, Norv Turner was still getting acquainted with his players. They were also working with a new defensive coordinator.

Since then, the Patriots kept pumping out wins while the Chargers figured out that they needed to get the ball to LT more, acquired Chris Chambers-the number one receiver that they have needed-and Philip Rivers has grown into an above average quarterback. Granted, he still has a ways to go (i.e. not yelling at the fans) but he has stepped up big time in the first two playoff games.

As everyone in the football world probably agrees, I saw the Colts as the better match-up against the Patriots, seeing as how they had them beat only to give the game away late in the fourth quarter, but on the other hand, these aren’t the same Chargers that we saw in week 2.
They got use to Norv Turner, the defense started firing on all cylinders and more importantly they are playing with confidence.

In fact, due to San Diego’s better defense, if...IF they can keep pressure on Tom Brady like they did Peyton Manning, they can win. That is why I am going out on a limb and picking the Chargers to win the AFC Championship game, even with the questionable status of Rivers.

Moving on to the NFC, the Giants are as good as the have been all season and it appears that Eli has finally moved out of his brother’s shadow, at least for the time being. They seem almost unstoppable, but on the other hand is Bret Favre. Need I say more?

Just like with good wine, it seems that Favre just gets better with age. His play this season has been nothing short of MVP caliber and, if it weren’t for Brady’s unbelievable season, Favre would have won the MVP.

Along with Favre, Ryan Grant has emerged as a force to be reckoned with on the ground, and the Packer defense has been outstanding, but you can’t forget about Green Bay’s not so secret weapon, the frozen tundra. With the elements on their side, Green Bay will be too tough to overcome, even for the surging Giants, making them my pick in the NFC Championship game.

Bush's good deed

2008-01-19T12:40:00.000-08:00

When it is all said and done, at least George W will be able to say that he did one good thing while in office. If you haven't heard, Bush is going to try and boost the economy by giving us bigger tax returns. 800(possibly just 500, but I'm not complaining) dollars if you are single and 1,600 dollars if you are married.

800 extra dollars? Works for me! Maybe my tax return will finally be worth getting back. Kudos Mr. President.

Presidential Candidates...?

2008-01-17T23:36:00.000-08:00

With the election coming up later this year, I have been somewhat closely following the Presidential Race and I have to say that I am not impressed with the candidates at all. I feel like I am watching parodies of the candidates on Saturday Night Live rather than an actual Presidential Race.

Is it just me, or are they all behaving like the middle child acting out for attention? And yes, I know that the point of every one of their campaigns is to draw our attention so that we might vote for them, but be serious.

A week or so ago, one candidate was crying(well, at least trying to) to get people to vote for her. This week, it's a candidate getting into a verbal spat with the media, while the spouse of another candidate does the same, while a fourth candidate complains that the media is giving him no attention and his two adversaries all of the coverage. Maybe that's because it is a two horse race. Not to mention that other candidates aren't what they seem at all, but they are politicians afterall.

What a mess. Are these the only choices we have? It looks like this country is in for a long four years no matter who gets elected.

Insanity

2008-01-17T10:17:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I open my internet explorer and right there on my homepage is a headline that says "Tom Cruise releases scientology tape." Come on Tom, who are you trying to convince? We all know that you are insane, you can stop trying to prove it to everyone. Are you trying to brainwash more girls who have idolized you since they were young like you did Katie Holmes? Just go back to your fantasy world and leave the rest of us sane people alone. We aren't buying it.

Steroids in baseball

2008-01-16T20:59:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been two weeks since I mailed my manuscript, but it's still too soon for me to have heard anything. It just frustrates me that my work is more than likely probably sitting on some desk at Knopf, not even being considered. I showed it to a close family friend who almost had his book published (there wasn't enough interest in the subject at the time) and he said that it was extremely well written which gives me hope. Also, it lets me know that it is good enough to be published. Not to sound cocky or anything, because that isn't me at all, but you have to be confident.

Moving on, I was watching tv yesterday, and I happen to come across the Congressional hearing for steroids in baseball. I have to ask, am I the only one that is tired of hearing about this? There sits Bud Selig, who had to have known that it was going on and did nothing about it, talking about solutions. Here is a solution, get rid of Bud Selig! He is part of the reason-can't blame ole Bud for all of it-that steroid use has gotten so bad.

If you ask me, any player who has admitted to using 'roids, or been caught, via fail drug test, etc, should have their career stats erased from the record books. It is a mockery to the game of baseball. Ok, i'm jumping down from my soap box now... Agree? Disagree? Thoughts? Concerns?

My Journey as a Writer

2008-01-15T10:11:00.000-08:00

First, a little bit about myself: I’m 26 years old. I live in Greensboro, NC where I was born and raised. I graduated from Lenoir-Rhyne college in May of 2005 with a degree in Sports Management. It was only after I had spent thousands of dollars to go to school that I discovered that I loved to write. I wish that I would have found that important nugget of information five years earlier, but everything happens for a reason and I wouldn’t change any of my experiences for the world. Everything that has happened in my past has led me to this point in my life and has shaped me into the person that I am today, and for that, I am grateful. With that said, this is my story...

My journey as a writer started a little more than two years ago. In November of 2005, I sat down in front of my computer with an idea, one idea. Pretty soon, my one idea spawned another idea, then came another, and another. The ideas kept coming and six months later, I had pounded out a script, well, at least what I thought was a script.

With my story completed, I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it. The thought of trying to get it published never crossed my mind; instead, more ideas came. Enough ideas, in fact, for a second and third story and, just like that, I had a trilogy on my hands. I began to work on the second script immediately. It wasn’t long before I had two completed scripts sitting in front of me.

Jumping ahead, in the middle of August of 2006, I received a UNCG (University of North Carolina at Greensboro) course catalog in the mail. I’m guessing it was a mistake seeing as how I did not attend UNCG and my neighbors did, but my curiosity got the best of me, so I decided to look through it. It was not coincidence that led me to open that book, because the first course that I saw in the table of contents when I opened the front cover was none other than Screenwriting 101. I signed up for the course immediately.

Upon taking the class, I learned correct script format, which made my so-called script look like incoherent babble. Not only this, but the more I sat through the class, the more I realized that what I had written was far too rich to be a script; it delved too deep into the character’s feelings and motivation for their actions, whereas in writing a script, you give only the basics. My story wasn’t quite a script, but it wasn’t quite a novel.

I had a decision to make.

Do I want to take away all of the details and leave just the who, what, when, and where? Or do I want to sit down, tear my story to shreds, add even more detail than I already had, and then piece it back together? It was very frustrating at first, but the more I thought about it, the choice was simple. So, I began turning my script into a novel.

The process turned out to be easier than I thought it would be as my "bad" script turned out to be a great layout of my story. Even though the process of converting my story into a novel turned out to be easier, it still took me a while to complete, as I went back and read through my work several times to perfect it. I finally finished in early December 2007, about a month ago.

Having ordered, Writer’s Market 2008, I excitedly thumbed through it upon its arrival and found many publishers interested in the genre that my novel fit into, fantasy adventure, but unfortunately none of which accept simultaneous submissions. Thus, starting the daunting task of sending it out to one publisher at a time. I chose Knopf Publishing to send my novel to first. With that decided, I wrote a query letter and mailed it, along with 45 sample pages of my work, on January 2, 2008.

Shortly after, I read an article in my local newspaper which said that blogging is a good way to get your writing career off the ground, so for about a week or so, I racked my brain trying to figure out what I would write about if I created a blog. Finally, late one night, it came to me, just as the first idea of my novel had come to me two years prior. I decided to share my story.

And with that, my journey as a writer continues. Until next time...