Episode 16: No Coming Back

It has been a week and a half since Ron came after me and subsequently Joel went after him. I have talked to Ron only once since going with him to the hospital. That was to confirm the break-up and to plead with him not to press charges against Joel. It was kind of funny because he agreed to not press charges quicker than he accepted me breaking up with him.

As for Joel, I only talked to him to let him know that Ron agreed not to press charges. I was still very angry at him, so I stayed on the phone just long enough to let him know that he would not be going to jail. He, of course, tried to call me at first, but finally gave up when he realized that I was not going to answer. It has been five days since his last attempt.

The truth is, I’m not that mad at him anymore. At first I was furious and I did not want to talk to him. Then, the anger thawed and melted away for the most part and I was not sure what I wanted to say to him. Now, I let the whole thing linger for too long and now it is too weird. And there is still the fact that I still get angry at Joel every time I think about what happened. I do not know what to do.

I will have an opportunity to talk to him tonight at Jack’s farewell party. His job is taking him to Michigan for a few months, so we are getting together tonight.

Lauren sat on Stacy’s couch as she waited for her to get ready to leave.

“Have you thought about what you are going to say to Joel?” asked Lauren of Stacy.

“Not at all,” replied Stacy.

“Are you still mad at him?”

“Yes and no,” said Stacy, sighing while thinking about the whole situation. “I do not know for sure because I haven’t seen or talked to him.”

“I’m sure that everything will work out fine,” said Lauren, trying to reassure her friend.

“I hope so,” said Stacy. “I sure am nervous.”

“I can tell,” replied Lauren.

“Thanks,” said Stacy facetiously.

“Relax,” said Lauren with a laugh. “You will be fine.”

“You are right,” responded Stacy, letting out a deep breath. “I will be. Let’s go.”

The two girls exited Stacy’s apartment, which she turned and locked. They headed down stairs, got in Lauren’s car, and headed off to Jack’s. Stacy grew more and more nervous as she got closer to Jack’s apartment building, which also happened to be Joel’s. she wanted to see him, but at the same time, she did not.

Upon arriving at Jack and Joel’s apartment building, Lauren and Stacy exited the car and began toward the front steps.

“Wait,” said Stacy, stopping in her tracks. “I can’t do this.”

“What?” asked Lauren, a little confused. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I just can’t.”

“Come on,” said Lauren, taking Stacy by the arm. “You will be fine. Just take a deep breath.”

“Ok,” said Stacy, exhaling. “I’m good now.”

With that, the two women entered the building and took the elevator up to Jack’s floor. When the bell rang and the doors slid open, they exited and walked to Jack’s door. Stacy was hesitant, but entered anyway. After discovering that Joel was not there yet, she was relieved.

This is going to be harder than I thought. I should have called Joel before tonight. Waiting was definitely a bad idea. It would be much more awkward in person than over the phone. At least I had a while to get a few beers in me before he got here to loosen myself up.

Stacy immediately grabbed a beer and opened it. She sat rather quietly on the couch while everyone else sat around and enjoyed themselves.

I just was not in the mood to talk. Don’t get me wrong though, I didn’t ignore my friends completely. Dustin, of course, was trying to hit on me the entire time as usual. I brushed him off like I usually did and pretty much ignored him. I would have felt bad, but, well, I know the guy and I just can’t feel bad for him. It wasn’t long after that Joel showed up.

Everyone’s attention was drawn to the door as the knob turned and it opened. Joel, John, and Tiffany walked through the now open doorway. Joel hung back while John and Tiffany walked past. They were greeted by Brian and Dustin, then Jack, Lauren, and Stacy, who upon seeing Joel, turned and walked into the kitchen. She was followed by Lauren.

“Stacy, are you ok?” asked Lauren.

Stacy let out a sigh. “No,” she replied. “I thought I was ready to see him, but I guess I’m not.”

“Just talk to him,” said Lauren.

“I still have no clue what I want to say to him.”

Lauren grimaced as she looked at Stacy. “Just be patient. It will come,” she finally said.

Stacy sadly nodded and the two of them headed back into Jack’s living room.

Remember the ten-ton elephant that was in the corner when I was going to break up with Ron? Well, he’s back and he brought friends. Seeing Joel did confirm one thing though. I was not still mad at him. It was just weird because we left the situation unsettled. Maybe I should have answered one of his calls.

Anyway, as the night went on, he did not try and talk to me, so I assumed that he wanted nothing to do with me. After staying at Jack’s for what seemed like forever, we finally left for downtown.

It was a little past eleven when the eight friends arrived at Shenanigans in downtown Charlotte. They stood in the long line for about fifteen minutes before finally reaching the door. There, the bouncer checked their ID’s to make sure that they were of age and then let them enter.

Loud music greeted the group as they walked came through the entrance. The club itself was practically alive as the walls were vibrating from the boom of the bass. The floor was not visible as people stood and danced shoulder to shoulder.

Shenanigans was a two story club, situated so that when you walked in through the front doors you were at the back of the dance floor. The D.J. stood in his booth, which was located on the back wall. There were two long bars, lining the sides of the interior of the building.

Upon advancing past the bar on the right, a door led to the restrooms. Also in this doorway, stairs could be taken to the second floor of club. The dance floor upstairs covered a little less than half of the first floor, leaving it open to look down at the dance floor below. Exiting the door at the top of the stairs, a walkway, which hugged the wall, led to the upstairs portion of the club, which was above the front doors. After passing a bar, the walkway opened up into the rest of the upstairs area.

Electing to stay on the first floor, Jack and Joel led the group through the sea of people that covered the dance floor and to the bar, where each of them ordered and received drinks. It was not long before Lauren and Tiffany dragged John and Brian onto the dance floor. Stacy was not far behind them as Joel, Jack and Dustin remained at the bar for the time being.

I thought that dancing would take my mind off of things, but it didn’t. I couldn’t help but feel bad for Joel. He just stood there by the bar while the rest of us were dancing. Granted, I know that he does not enjoy dancing like the rest of us, but he has never been the type to just stand by the bar by himself while everyone else is on the dance floor.

Jack and Dustin went over and tried to persuade him to come out and dance, but he didn’t. Brian had no luck either and neither did Lauren. It was then, that I decided to go over and end this stupidity once and for all.

Much to Joel’s surprise, Stacy shook off her nervousness and went over to him. She smiled warmly as she stopped in front of him. “Do you not feel like dancing?” she asked.

Joel smiled. “You know me,” he said, “always a wallflower.” There was a bit of an awkward pause for a moment, before they both started to speak. Both of them stopped to let the other one talk, but Stacy insisted that Joel be the first.

“I really am sorry, Stacy,” said Joel.

“I know,” responded Stacy. “I know you were just looking out for me, but you could have gone about it a different way.”

“Are we going to be ok?” asked Joel, his concern was obvious.

“Yes,” replied Stacy, nodding her head.

“Good,” said Joel.

“Come on,” said Stacy, grabbing Joel’s hand and pulling him away from the bar. “Let’s dance.”

And just like that, all was right with the world. As Joel and I danced, I could not help but feel attracted to him. All of my feelings we resurfacing once again. This time, though, I was single and ready to give into them. And then, Joel said the exact thing that I was wishing he would. But unfortunately, I would get in my own way.

“Stacy,” said Joel, “I have a confession to make.”

“And what is that?” asked Stacy.

“I love you,” said Joel.

“Aww,” said Stacy, smiling brightly. “I love you too...” Oh no! What if he means he loves me as a friend and nothing more? Don’t panic... don’t panic!

But then I did panic. And I blurted out the first thing that popped in my head. “...as a friend.”

No! What have I done!?

“I- I need to go,” said Joel through short quick breaths.

“Are you ok?” asked Stacy, a confused look took hold of her face. Joel looked crushed, but why? Wait, could he have meant...?

“Y-yeah,” he said. “I am fine.”

Joel turned and left Stacy standing there as he headed for the door. She watched as he made his way to the door and exited Shenanigans. She stood there facing a harsh realization.

I really screwed up this time. I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was no coming back from this one.