Episode 11: Just Friends

I know that not telling Joel how I feel was the right decision. I have a boyfriend and I do not think that he feels the same way about me. Besides, I wouldn’t want anything to ruin our friendship. So if it was the right decision then why do I feel so horrible? It happened three days ago and I still cannot shake off this wretched feeling. Joel had not showed up at Stratler’s for the past few days either, which made it a little easier considering the weird moment we had outside of my apartment.

After the feeling the night had took on from our conversation during our walk home, the end of it was a train wreck. I just hope that I wasn’t the reason that Joel was shying away from Stratler’s. I wish I could see him just so I would know that everything was alright between us.

Anyway, it’s Friday night and Ron, Brian, Lauren, and myself decided to go out on a double date. Lauren and I have become pretty close since she started dating Brian and joined our group. I really enjoy going off with her seeing as how we are the only two girls in the group other than the ones the boys date. Some of them are actually pretty cool-I say actually because the guys don’t have a good track record as far as choosing girls goes-and Lauren and I try to befriend them even after the break-ups, but none of them stick, so the two of us have to stick together.

Stacy had not been home long before her cell phone started ringing. Each time her phone rang, Stacy leapt up and dashed over in hopes that it was Joel, thus signifying that everything between them was ok, but it was not. The first call she got was from Lauren to decide where they wanted to eat. Then next call was from Ron to find out what time he should pick her up.

After getting partially ready, Stacy decided to just call Joel. She picked up her cell phone and scrolled through her numbers. Upon coming to Joel’s name she paused, thus highlighting his name and number, but did not hit the green call button. After staring at the screen of her phone for a moment, she flipped the top part down, closing the phone. She held it in her hand as she paced around her apartment.

I can’t just call him for no reason. What could I call about? To see what he is doing tonight? No, I can’t do that because we already have plans. To see why he hasn’t been at Stratler’s? No, I don’t want to seem to needy. Just forget it...

Stacy paused momentarily and placed the phone on her coffee table. She then continued on to her room where she returned to getting ready for the night ahead. After she was ready, she walked into the kitchen area of her apartment and reached up and pulled a bottle of wine off of the top of the refrigerator. After retrieving a wine glass from one of the cabinets, she took the bottle of wine into the living room and sat on the couch.

She poured a glass of wine then turned on the television. After flipping through some channels, she determined that she was not in the mood for TV, so she sat there and sipped on her wine attempting to get lost in her thoughts while waiting for Ron to come pick her up.

After two glasses of wine, Stacy had accrued a small buzz. She had only planned on having one glass, but upon inspecting the clock after her first glass, she had discovered that Ron was twenty minutes late. Frustrated, she decided to have another glass. Another ten minutes passed, which made Ron thirty minutes late, when Stacy got a call from Lauren.

Flipping her phone open, Stacy said, “Hello.”

“Hey girl,” said Lauren. “Are you on your way?”

“No,” answered Stacy, taking in and letting out a deep breath. “Ron is late yet again.”

“Again?” asked Lauren.

“Yep,” said Stacy, obviously irritated.

“Do you want us to come get you?” asked Lauren.

“No,” replied Stacy, “I might just stay in if he does not show up in the next twenty minutes or so, but thanks for offering.”

“You have to come out,” protested Lauren.

Before Stacy could answer, there was a knock at her door. She told Lauren to hang on as she rose from the couch and walked over to the door. She looked through the peep hole to see Ron standing on the other side. She brought her phone back up to her ear as she turned the deadbolt and opened the door.

“He finally decided to show up,” said Stacy to Lauren as she glared at Ron.

“Ok,” replied Lauren. “See you in a bit.”

“Ok, bye,” answered Stacy. She then hung up her phone and turned away from Ron. She walked over to her bottle of wine, put the cork back into the opening at the top, picked it up, and started toward the kitchen.

“Not going to say hey?” asked Ron, watching Stacy walk to the kitchen and set her glass in the sink and then return the wine bottle to the top of the refrigerator.

“You’re late,” said Stacy bluntly, not looking at Ron as she walked to her room. She returned a short time later with her purse. “I would just say that I am not going to go out, but Lauren really wants to hang out and I would not leave her hanging.”

“I am sorry-“ started Ron before getting cut off by Stacy.

“Save it,” interrupted Stacy. “I should be accustomed to you being late by now, but for some reason I keep thinking that maybe, just maybe, you will actually show up on time for once.”

“Is it that big of a deal?” asked Ron nonchalantly.

“Actually,” answered Stacy, growing angrier, “it is, because it just shows how selfish you are.”

Ron let out a sigh. “Can we just go?”

“Gladly,” said Stacy as she walked by Ron and out the door. She stood there and waited for him to exit, then locked the door and the two of them were off.

Ron tried to talk to Stacy during their car trip to the restaurant where they would be meeting Brian and Lauren, but Stacy ignored him as she stared out the window. Ron finally gave up and turned the music up in order to fill the silence.

When the two arrived at the restaurant, they exited the car and walked in. They walked past the hostess and into the dining area, looking for Brian and Lauren. Upon finding them, they walked over and sat down at the table.

“Hey guys,” said Lauren with a smile. “You made it.”

“Sorry we are late,” replied Stacy.

“It’s fine,” said Lauren. “I am just glad that you are here.”

And with that, Stacy’s anger melted away as she got lost in a conversation with Lauren. Soon after, Brian and Ron engaged in their own conversation as the four of them enjoyed dinner.

As the night continued, my anger toward Ron eventually faded and I started to have a good time. However, my thoughts kept drifting back to Joel. I could not help but replay the other night’s events over and over in my mind. I wonder what he is doing right now?

After dinner, the four of them went back to Brian and Dustin’s apartment to watch a movie and hangout. As the night wore on, it did not get any easier for Stacy, whose thoughts continued to consist of Joel. The overwhelming, nagging feeling she had that there was something wrong between the two of them only continued to grow. Finally she decided that she needed to see him. She had to talk to him to see once and for all that nothing was wrong.

After indiscreetly prompting Brian to text Dustin and find out where they were, she suggested that they go out. Brian and Lauren turned down the invite, but Ron was more than willing to go. When Stacy and Ron left Brian’s apartment, they headed downtown toward the Dirty Sanchez.

Stacy found herself more and more anxious to reach downtown the closer her and Ron got. As usual, Ron dropped Stacy off in front of the bar so that she would not have to walk and drove off to find a parking spot. Stacy showed her licence to the doorman and traversed the front door. When Stacy walked through the door of the Dirty Sanchez, she immediately caught sight of Joel standing alone by the bar.

He looked so sad standing there by himself. I just wanted to hug him. Then, out of nowhere, a dark-haired girl walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder. I watched them for a few minutes, waiting for an opening to approach Joel, but it never came. They seemed to hit it off really well.

Then, as I continued to watch them, my heart dropped. It was like he had forgotten that I even existed. Actually, I don’t know why I was thinking that. It’s not like I made myself available to him, or that I was even available in the first place. I guess I just thought...no, never mind; it doesn’t matter now.

Before Ron could walk in, Stacy turned and walked out of the Dirty Sanchez.

“I don’t feel so well,” said Stacy. “Can we go?”

Ron was confused, but seeing as how he was already on thin ice for being late earlier that night, he decided not to press the issue. “Ok,” he said.

On the way home, Stacy was deep in thought.

She doesn’t deserve him. Hmph, what am I saying? Neither do I. Wait, why am I acting like this? It was right then, that I decided that I was going to be happy for Joel. I just wanted him to be happy even if that is something that I could not offer him. He deserves to be happy... even if it makes me miserable. I guess I am just going to have to accept the fact that we are always going to be just friends.